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Approximately about 1 hour to read
this story is about about how everybody around the world has a number. The numbers go 1-10 and when they are born with a number their fate has been picked. But for the few who have a number higher than 10 an unlucky fate awaits them.
over 4 years ago Rachel Beasley said:
I really like the idea but....the dialogue is kind of weak. Fix that and get it edited then, I think this story would be really awesome. Good job so far though. :)
over 4 years ago Nobody said:
This is a really interesting idea, but there are a lot of grammatical and spelling errors that sort of take away from the story. Polish it up a little, and it will be really good! Not trying to be mean, just giving constructive criticism. :D Keep writing!
over 4 years ago Ino Gosuro said:
A very unique idea for a story. I love how you explain what the numbers mean, and how #13 is "special". Write more, please!
over 4 years ago Yowlot said:
I love your story idea (it's completely and totally awesome) and you kick butt main character -- please keep writing! :)
over 4 years ago Rain Dusk said:
Please don't take this review offensively, it is only for the benefit of your writing skills and this story! :
This story has a very good outline. The whole numbers idea is very cleaver, and kind of reminds me of how the Districts's behave in the Hunger Games. While the idea of the story is wonderful, the content of this story needs work. And I do realize this is a work in progress.
There are lots of misspelled words words, grammar issues, and spacing issues. And example would be at in chapter two, you say she followed the vet. Instead of spelling it followed, you wrote fallowed. I don't know if that is on-purpose or that is how you are taught to spell things at home or if it is just an accident. If it is how you spell things at home I suggest you spell all words the more traditional way so that a wider variety of audiences will understand what you are saying. If it is a accent the characters in the book speak in I suggest you put in the description that the characters have an accent and misspelled words are misspelled purposely. Lastly on spelling is if it is generally an accident be sure to re-read what you've typed before posting. To fix grammar spelling and, spacing issues try typing everything in word first because it will edit for you. Then copy and paste into Figment.
I hope you don't take my review personally and use it for the better of your writing. Hopefully my tips help you.