I Pray

I Pray

3 chapters / 724 words

Approximately 4 minutes to read

Description:

" Let me speak of a world,
Where a holocaust breathes,
Where the victims silently scream"
______
This is just a personal thing I felt compelled to write after I visited the Hollocaust rememberence museum. Yes while I was walking through the rememberence museum, instead of seeing just Jews, I started getting flashes of unborn babies and the similarities between both situations. I tried to make this different from most pieces concerning abortion and not go with the usual. sigh. I really hate when people are like "I would never abort my baby! But I dont think we should stop other people from doing it.".....because what I hear is "I would never kill a person. But its okay to let someone else do it."I'm really sorry if I in any way hurt you by this. It is truely unintentional and please do not mark me as close minded or say "I'm condeming" anyone. I understand that there is usually alot of emotion and pain for the woman herself too and I'm not going to judge anyone for what they've done. Not to mention, I am well aware of the life and death situation of the mother and how sometimes, sacrifices must be made. But in general, I do not see justice in it. God Bless you all. Cover by Felicia K.

Genres:

Writing, Poetry

Comments(13)

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over 5 years ago Natalia Davis said:

Love this :)

Reviews(2)

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about 5 years ago A.Myuze said:

(1)"So what is more innocent then an unborn child, that has never touched sin?" (2) "Why is the life of a child, baby, ~etc.~ cost no more then a couple.." -[It's "than" instead of 'then.']

Those are literally the only errors I see, everything else was BRILLIANT. Ohgosh love I don't know how to describe how powerful and awing this piece of yours is. I love this particular quote by Einstein and I had a feeling this was going to be a great piece and man was I wrong because it is AMAZING. So poetically done as well and that's an instant-like for me! Haha. There's no wrong to this piece, and... I just LOVE it! Blew me away, fantastically done~

Don't stop writing, because it'd be such a waste! ^^ !

~L.P

Eldorado2

over 5 years ago V. Emily said:

Amazing! Just amazing! I'm already pro-life, but if I wasn't, you'd have convinced me with this! It puts into perfect perspective what I believe: that abortion is the murder of a victim in their most defenseless state. It's a terrible thing our government has legalized. Anytime I think about if I'd have been aborted -- stories I wouldn't have written, extraordinary people I wouldn't have met, and incredible things I wouldn't have seen -- it makes me sick to think that so many kids aren't getting those same chances. Bravo for summing up the reality of this terrible mass murder into one chilling piece.

Grammatical corrections to make this already-great piece even better:

-When you list things in literature (example: "dogs, cats, birds") do not put a comma after the last object. (Example: "dogs, cats, and birds, were sold" is incorrect, but if you take out the comma after "birds" it would be right.) This listing issue occurred at least twice in the middle of your piece. This isn't a huge, blaring issue, though. :)

-There was one instance (I think the sentence began with "or"...sorry I can't be of more help) where you should've used a question mark and not a period.

As I said before, you did a wonderful job just laying out the truth. You didn't beat around the bush, and you wrote an amazing piece (but should it be classified as poetry?). Anyway, you should be proud. Keep writing! -V.