Skrytia's Story

Skrytia's Story

3 chapters / 2727 words

Approximately 14 minutes to read

Description:

Skrytia is a yearling wolf with a bruised life. One day, after being brutally harmed by the alpha, Fenris shows up and goes to offer her a proposition. However, she knows all too well who he is and recognizes him as a threat. Unceasing, he pursues her. He will not stop until he has her in his grasp. To stop him, she must hunt down her long lost father, who has been a long time enemy of Fenris and is the only wolf who knows how to stop him. But the question is: Will Skrytia make it? Or will she be persuaded into his embrace of hatred and deceit?

Genres:

Adventure, Novel, Fantasy

Comments(6)

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almost 5 years ago Nika-Maria Boyd said:

Everything about this story screamed unique, fresh, innovative, and cool. I loved that the story was told in the viewpoint of wolves, and not people, yet they were given human qualities. I also liked the character's names in the story; they were so different and interesting. I enjoyed this! Would you care to share some feedback on my story, The 'L' Word? Any kind of advice would help. I'm not looking for hearts, unless you honestly feel it deserves one. I'd appreciate just your time to read it. Thanks much and good work!!

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about 5 years ago Cheyenne Summers said:

Really unique idea. Great descriptions. Had me wanted to read on from the start. Love it :)

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about 5 years ago J.A.D. Lumanta said:

This is really unique and I think you have a great story on your hands. But I'm really curious...what is the picture on your cover? I'm not exactly sure what to make of it. Did you draw it yourself? Anyway, overall well done! :)))))))))

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over 5 years ago Gaby S. said:

That's a great opening. Oh, and you have pretty great descriptions! Good job and keep it up!

Reviews(2)

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over 5 years ago AnQi Yu said:

ello hello! AnQi here, from the ever magnificent Beta Readers. Your request was for a general review. Let’s get right to it.

This is definitely unique. You could immediately tell this was in the voice of an animal: mentions of the muzzle, whines, paws-those were absolutely excellent. Let’s backtrack and talk about what you could improve, shall we?

Indent When Someone New Speaks In the first chapter, there are many characters who are speaking. That’s great-it makes the entry into this new world easier and more enriching. But this is crazy tricky, and it can get confusing real fast and real easy. A quick fix is to make a new paragraph when someone new speaks. Elly (elainnana) gives some awesome examples. Not only does this make it organized, but it’s easier to associate dialogue with a specific character and creates a better relationship with your reader. So watch out for that.

Common Grammar/Spelling Mistakes There were a few (not many) grammar mistakes. Those sneak in and are hard to sneak out. Read your story out loud-that may help you catch where you have fluency clots and schtuff like that. :D

Description/Imagery The pacing was fast. Like, NASCAR fast. There are many ways to slow it down, but one of the easiest is adding more description. You did really awesome relaying to us what each wolf looked like, each cub (in my mind, they look like down-right cutie pies!) but we seemed to be missing a lot of the setting. Is it in the mountains? Is it winter? Spring? Are we in a valley? These things are important, and enrich your world-building. The things readers enjoy the most is to get lost in the story, right? This is also a great chance to work on your voice/style. So far, it’s looking peachy.

Overall, a great start, an awesome plot, and some killer characters. Work on your grammar, and you could have something stellar.

Hope this helped (and please, let Beta Readers know if you have up something new!). Thanks a ton of gummy bears,

AnQi

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over 5 years ago UltimateLife234 said:

Well this is certainly different. I never expected to see things through the eyes of an animal.

In terms of writing quality, some sentences were a tad awkward, and considering that you seem to be writing in mostly past tense, it would be a good idea to double check any possible "present tense" phrases or words you left behind.

Other than that, the story itself is certainly a stark contrast to most human tales. It gives off the feeling of the wild and nature itself. But some helpful advice to keep in mind is establishing a scene and the area around it. We don't really know the world itself, so we need a proper introduction so as to grow comfortable with the setting. Another thing is who these characters are, and what their purpose in the story is. Again, just things to keep in mind.

Other than that, I wish you luck if you do plan on continuing this tale. This short review has been brought to you as courtesy of Beta Readers.