The Waxing of a Broken Heart

The Waxing of a Broken Heart

3 chapters / 973 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read

Description:

When a goddess inlists the help of a mere mortal you know it's something important.

Admin contest winner.

Comments(20)

Jkhkjhkjh

almost 5 years ago Cassie Hawley said:

beautiful

Jkhkjhkjh

almost 5 years ago Cassie Hawley said:

beautiful

Cutecat

almost 5 years ago Leafwing said:

This is a lovely story. I really like stories about things related to Egyptian pharaohs; they always turn out so intriguing. One thing I noticed was the description of Nephthys at the beginning; it was very well written and pretty. I think it would help if you included more detail one what exactly is happening, and develop the relationship between Nephthys and Kane, because that would help clarify some of my confusion. Otherwise, nicely done!

1

about 5 years ago Si Jia said:

SWAP: Chapter 1

I love it so much! I really enjoyed the plot and it was pretty creative. I didn't see many grammatical issues. Nice tone, style, and diction. Great job and keep it up!

Reviews(1)

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over 5 years ago Cait Cher said:

I really liked the first chapter. The second chapter is locked though, and I'm OCD about reading ahead of chapters. Just one thing. When someone's name (nickname, real name, etc) comes up in dialogue, you must put a comma before (if in end of sentence), after (if in beginning), or both (if in the middle) of the name.