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Approximately 1 minute to read
over 4 years ago Soleil A. Twist said:
This is what all life should be like. Its so transfixing. So sweet. It almost like a zombie apocalypse at the start though. (:
over 4 years ago Julia Joules said:
This piece is great. "the small glow shinig from the stars." should have "shinning"
over 4 years ago t.k. skittles eschoir said:
This has the potential to be really great if you clean up the grammar and add commas where necessary. I'd be willing to help if you're not sure where you need them. I love how you combine the night and music into one cohesive concept - it felt really natural, even if not the most original idea. It's a pretty little piece with a lot to say. Good short pieces are hard to pull off =)
over 4 years ago Ara Avery said:
Great job! I loved the descriptions you incorporated with the topic of the night! ;)
Wow your piece was amazing and incorporated many creative details and adjectives! My favorite part of this was the line towards the end that went along the lines of (forgive me if I incorrectly word this, I'm just going on memory haha): Forgiving the night for its frightfulness, I begin to dance to its song.
To me this was very poetic and intricate with how you worded and described the different setions of this. Your main storyline that you went by was very creative as well. Excellent! I absolutely loved it!
over 4 years ago Emmy F said:
Awesome work! It has a nice flow to it and was very descriptive. It definitely helped the reader imagine the whole scene, which was great. You spelled "nicely" wrong near the end of it, and there was a sentence that talked about the night's song where you wrote "it's" instead of "its". Its is possessive while it's translates to it is, and that wouldn't make sense. Otherwise you've done a nice job :) Good work!