Welcome to Hell

Welcome to Hell

1 chapter / 559 words

Approximately 3 minutes to read

Description:

PLEASE don't forget to HEART!
--------
For the Forsaken contest!
If needed, early access code: D1R5T-WYSGJ-XYJVM

Comments(72)

Ze3lda

over 5 years ago Nolan Gross said:

This is really captivating! Well written and an intersting plot! I love it!

Photo on 2012-04-22 at 21.22

over 5 years ago Madeline Day said:

The end of the story was absolutely fantastic and left a really cool impression! I think you had a few excess words sometimes in the description, though, and if you could comb through some of them and delete superfluous or just gaudy words, I think the flow of the story would be much better. ;)

Fb_img_1429826395814

over 5 years ago Renee Soto said:

Ooooh my gosh, this was just SO good! It is definitely worthy of the Forsaken contest, I didn't see any errors except for one. You had "and" in the form of "&". You really shouldn't do that unless it's like a title or something. But seriously, other than that, job well done!! Amazing work and I really liked it. :)

Img_3947

over 5 years ago Starcatcher said:

You did a very good job at grapping attention at the begining! I liked it!

Reviews(9)

Pink cupcake

over 5 years ago Audrey July said:

I liked this one a lot! I agree with the reviewer who says it feels more like a prologue than a short story. That means I would want to read more, though.

A thing I found odd was the apparent inclusion of the narrator's childhood friend on the jury. I know in the real world, at least, close friends can't be on your jury. Also, at first I thought this was taking place in the present day, but then it seemed to take place in an alternate world. If you could make it clearer in the beginning that this takes place elsewhere than just the present day, that would make it even better.

1171678_230550193820115_170573085_n

over 5 years ago alex rashid said:

This is a wonderful one shot! Very dramatic. :D I just thought it was a little too fast paced for my liking, but other than that, I loved it!

For our swap can you read Witness for me? -Alex Rashid