Dreamland

Dreamland

3 chapters / 2488 words

Approximately 12 minutes to read

Description:

(IN-PROGRESS) Little fifteen-year-old Amy Jones is stuck; in a Dream that is. Well, more of a Dreamland. It could of course be a whole world her mind has stumbled upon. Read and find out more?

Genres:

Adventure, Fantasy, Novel

Comments(20)

Picc

almost 5 years ago Everest Neverlynn said:

I like it. And I agree! GO FOR AN HOUR!

Peace

about 5 years ago Agmedi said:

I love how you color your character's voice with her own personality. It's a great way of presenting a well-developed character. It's a very interesting idea too. Good job. :)

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over 5 years ago Nini said:

I love your style of writing. The voice of the character really shines because of it and the whole idea of literally being stuck in a dream is so intriguing. Great job and I'm excited to read more!

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over 6 years ago J.D. Lee said:

great ideas! really mind boggling which is great. i think that you really have a good story going here! Maybe read mine? It's called the resistance!

Reviews(5)

Snapshot_20161017

over 5 years ago H.L. Williams said:

Overall, it was an original idea and I love that. There were, like the previous said, comma errors. Just say the sentence out loud and wherever you pause, put a comma. Like I just did. And, also, I feel the main character is a bit whiny at times. The color of the room seemed to have changed, also. First she describes the blue and grey and then in the dream, she says something to effect of, "wasn't the yellow color I thought it to be" or something. And it was sort of confusing. I believe you need to add more detail in the actual dream part because all I was imagining was blank, white space. A little more description before she goes to bed, to show what her life was like before the Dreamland, couldn't hurt either. Needs some work, but keep at it!

Hannah X

Tardis

over 6 years ago (vanished) said:

Really cool idea! I mean that, too. As awesome as it is, the story could use some work. In a few spots, you are missing commas. Also, the writing is a bit casual, however you may like it like that. Once again, I really love the idea, but you could touch-up the writing a little bit.