The Inventor

The Inventor

1 chapter / 1525 words

Approximately 8 minutes to read


This is an excerpt from a steampunk story I have been working on. Gregory Parr is an eccentric young inventor that has recently risen to prominence for his mechanical insects. Invited to afternoon tea by a well-to-do lady, he sticks out among the guests with more decorum.



over 3 years ago Rutelidae said:

We think your story is lovely, but you have not asked for, nor been granted permission to use Insect Lab imagery, please contact us immediately through:

Thank you


over 3 years ago Nix Blair said:

I loved this! The banter and dialogue was natural and flowed; the characters were strong and realistic; the descriptions were vivid; your grammar was mostly excellent; and the plot, though nothing huge, was still captivating. I was hooked from the moment you mentioned Matt Smith (considering I'm a fan of Doctor Who! XD ). Great, GREAT write! I honestly don't know what else to say.


over 3 years ago Trina Elisabeth said:

This is awesome. I love the idea of those inventions... I would kill to have something like that, especially one that can fly. Your writing style made the whole story very believable, and I love how Gregory was so incredibly bored. You showed it quite well just from what he was doing. And him as Matt Smith, well. Seems perfect, too. xD Great job with this, and keep writing! :)

Lost memory story main character

over 3 years ago Yowlot said:

Awesome and interesting excerpt, sounds like the beginnings of a great story. There were a couple of mistakes I saw though (I think you put ran instead of read) but other then that I really enjoyed this! :)


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about 3 years ago Eris Blackburn said:

I was planning to come back to comment on this story after I was finished the rest of my swaps, but I suppose I'll do it now.

I loved this! Your characters were wonderfully realistic, with unique personalities, the dialogue had a natural flow and the slightly formal tone gave this piece an old-timey Victorian feel (well, at least to me). Amazing imagery, it was like I was in the room with them! I don't know why, but I especially loved the first line 'The tea-stained invitation flapped in the breeze as Gregory Parr knocked on the door'. In one sentence, the reader gets a sense of the main character, the situation and sort of a time frame. It just really appealed to me. The inventions seem marvelous and you captured the steam punk theme really well. Since this is only the excerpt, I intend to read the completed novel whenever I have time. I REALLY want to know more. You did an amazing job with this. Keep up the awesome writing!


over 3 years ago Mojodaisy47 said:

This is for our swap!

Ok so here it goes:

Characters: I loved them! They seemed so real and I sincerely wanted to meet them. They were so dynamic and seemed to leap off the page!

Dialogue: PERFECT! I hate when you read dialogue that would never fit into a normal conversation and this story had none of that! It was natural and flowed nicely.

Plot: I loved how it sucked you in even though a huge plot hadn't been revealed. The beatles and spiders were vivid.

Overall: I thought it was great! The word choice was so vivid without bogging down the story and you felt like you were there. I think this could be a great novel or short story.

I would just make sure all the grammar is correct and you will be spotless!

Great job!