17 chapters / 12466 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read


After a rough senior year, Blaire Caroline Swenson is more than ready for a fresh start at college. But after an unexpected turn of events, Blaire finds herself back in a mess that she'd thought she'd escaped a long time ago.


Novel, Mystery, Romance



Milan london

almost 5 years ago mena london said:

This was really really good. You did a great job with the feeling of it!


almost 5 years ago Desiree Roberts said:

Would love if you wanted to swap!! And if you do please say so! I give great reviews :) My story is a paranormal romance! Please help me out-- The Devil Will Cry, is the name. xoxox!


almost 5 years ago Lizzy Montgomery said:

This is amazing! Very well written and good plot. Keep writing!


almost 5 years ago Lizzy Montgomery said:

This is amazing! Very well written and good plot. Keep writing!



almost 5 years ago Elizabeth said:

I only read the first five chapters, but I think you have a great story here! It was hard for me to find any mistakes, you were pretty good about everything, but I'll try my best to tell you what I thought.

What I liked: I really loved how you ended each chapter with "another door closed", or "another door opens". That was really creative, kudos for that :) It was also a good idea to add the newspaper clippings, as it adds much more depth to the story. You also have really great descriptions, and the dialogue was just fine. Your characterization was also good, and I actually kind of liked Narissa more than the MC for a moment. You can really tell how much Blaire hates Narissa, you almost went overboard with that, but I think that's fine right now.

What I would change: Oh, there's not really anything I would change except that it does get a bit confusing at some points. But that's okay with me, honestly your story is fantastic and definitely one I'll be coming back to to finish. Excellent work!



almost 5 years ago Rayne said:

Note: I only read one chapter but I was intruiged and I wish I could have read more.

Overall opinion: Really interesting.

Weakness in character(s): I wish we could see more of the MC's emotions. How does she feel about the fact that her father had a sister, how does she feel about the other things mentioned in the will? These are things that would be good to show. And don't just say "I was surprised" show through her actions that she is surprised, or some other emotion. Also with all those characters it got pretty confusing. I think it would be good to lay down right away who is who.

Strength in character(s): I liked your descriptions of the characters, like Maria and Elizabeth. That was good.

Weakness in plot: It was a bit confusing when you got to the newspaper clippings part (at least I assume that's what they were). It was a bit hard to catch on to what was going on. Maybe explain, like have the MC be looking through old newspapers or something like that.

Strength in plot: Even though it was confusing, I did like it that you used those newspapers to tell part of the story. That was a unique and cool idea.

Weakness in other (dialogue, descriptions, setting, grammar, spelling): I think you could have a bit more descriptions for the setting. At first, the reader isn't sure if this is a funeral or a reading of the will.

Strength in other (dialogue, description, setting, grammar, spelling): Your dialogue was good, and I saw no grammar/spelling errors. Yay!

Things to work on: I would just clear up the confusing parts, but you really have a good story going here :)

Keep writing on and never give up!

Stay classy,