Daughter of a King

Daughter of a King

15 chapters / 22787 words

Approximately about 2 hours to read

Description:

Conrad is a young man from the farming village of Kaerio. Bridgette is the Chief's daughter and is the most beautiful girl in the village. When unknown pirates kidnap Bridgette, only Erin, a girl with an equally unknown past, knows a way to get her back.

  • 103
  • 35
  • 14
  • 16
  • 15
  • 58

Comments(73)

Image

over 3 years ago Cate Eliot said:

This is really good piece. I thought your characters and plot were really interesting! I would make sure to read through your piece out loud to check for readability and past/present tense. That can always be confusing to the reader. It's nice to see such strong feminine characters. Well done and Happy Writing.

1675_476763449062366_1693413549_n

almost 4 years ago Angel River said:

This is really good! I love the part of her making the daisy chain crown because it's just a side note that she's doing while she was talking, that was a really nice touch

Anime 15

almost 4 years ago Raven_mi said:

WOW! Totally loved the interaction and it made me laugh. I especially liked the way you developed Erin as a character.

006

almost 4 years ago Pri said:

I absolutely love this story. Being a manga/anime lover, I rarely see female leads take control in such a brilliant way and fight. Erin is sooo awesome and I hope that Conrad realizes that;D Thank you for writing this!

Reviews(12)

Tumblr_m235ywbry81r36a0uo1_500

over 3 years ago Ivana Elliot }i{ said:

Chipmunk hair? Interesting. I thought this was pretty good, well written. I didn't see any grammar mistakes through the first part. It actually kept my attention, which is a good thing.

Ivana

Profile picture

over 3 years ago kas is actually kas said:

1:

Good imagery. I like the characterization of Conrad, and he seems like a regular guy who is annoyed by a girl.

Erin lives in a tree. interesting. I like how you describe her as having chipmunk streaks of hair. It's a good adjective not only for the color, because of her hanging out in the trees.

Oh. Bridgette comes into the story. a beautiful girl who doesn't seem to notice Conrad. Will there be a love triangle in this, or will the story just continue just as it is? I'm curious. I'm liking this story much more than I thought I would.

Okay. There is a war mentioned. There is almost always a war between two countries in this type of story. If there isn't any significant reason to meantion it here in the stroy, drop it. If there is a reason, keep it. Of course, I don't know since this is only chapter 1.

Oh, hey, the beautiful girl and the orphan don't get along. There's something interesting that will make or break this story. Very nice, man.

Okay. This story has some potential, and kept my attention well. There isn't a whole lot I can say that I haven't already mentioned. There weren't any grammar/spelling mistakes that I caught. I'm happy you got me to review this, because you could really use a pair of fresh eyes. Old reviews are about as useful as old milk.

Overall rating: 10/10. :)