Legend of Starflight (WarriorCat fanfic)

Legend of Starflight (WarriorCat fanfic)

6 chapters / 2527 words

Approximately 13 minutes to read

Description:

(Warrior Cat fanfiction)
Starkit was a cat of all four Clans. Her mother was half WindClan and half ShadowClan, and her father was half RiverClan and half ThunderClan. But there is one missing: SkyClan, the fifth clan of the forest. StarClan knows that all five Clans must unite to defeat the enemy that is lurking in the mist, so they name the kit 'Starkit' in their honor and send her away to live in SkyClan; where she will train to fulfill her destiny and unite the Clans to bring peace by the lake and everywhere in the warrior world.

Comments(7)

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almost 2 years ago Laura said:

I loved it. I am a big fan of warriors and so I loved this even more. Please continue, can't wait to read more!

Nice work ~Laura :)

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almost 2 years ago Kayla~Emma~Rose said:

Amazing(: Can't wait to read more of your warrior fanfics :D

Jtf

about 2 years ago Jane T. Foster said:

OMG I LOVE WARRIORS! Is this the book you were telling me about? I am so joining that warriors rp group!

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about 2 years ago Abbie McBride said:

AHHH!!!! LionblazeXCinderheart aaaall the way! Yay! Looove it! But if I may, can I make a suggestion? If the kits are newly born would their eyes be open already? You said Hollykit's eyes were green and I don't know a lot about new born kittens but I'm not sure if their eyes would be open yet... :/ LOVING the story so far though! Keep it up!

Reviews(2)

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almost 2 years ago Brigid Griffin said:

That was very nicely done :) I can’t wait to read more.

You gave your characters a good personality, well more like, you expressed it well! I could grasp a very good picture of many things!

I got a little confused when you changed cats so quickly, I know the spotlight for each cat was kind of short, but I would recommend making a new paragraph and labeling that cats name or clan.

Over all I liked what you have for this story allot Janet! You being on the RP pretty often is a nice treat too. You’re a talented writer and like I said earlier, I can’t wait to read more!

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almost 2 years ago Valkerie Thomas said:

I love the Warriors books!! x3 Thanks for telling me to read this! Anyways, I really like where you're going with this. It seems to be the beginnings of a great work. However, I did see some distracting bits and pieces that you're going to want to fix.

First off, you've got a lot of semicolons (;) where commas should be, particularly in the first chapter. It disrupts the flow a bit. Semicolons should be used to join to independent clauses.

Secondly, your spelling needs some work. I caught quite a few errors, a few of which dealt with the old (confusing!) "i before e" rule. Try using spell-check on Microsoft Word or a similar program.

You switch tenses mid chapter a few times. I love present tense, but because this is in third person, I feel like you should write it in past tense. Even if you don't switch that, you need to watch out for those moments when you do switch to the wrong tense.

Finally, you've used a lot of dialogue. I feel like you've told us a lot, but haven't shown us quite enough yet.

Let me know when you've addressed some of these things, and I'll be happy to take another look. ^^