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Approximately 5 minutes to read
***For the Throne of Glass contest. **Heart Goal: 250. Mama said there was a time when magic dwelled in everything and faeries roamed the earth, but the westerly winds brought an evil to the moorlands that closed their eyes and made them forget.
over 4 years ago Mojodaisy47 said:
CONGRATS!! I told you you would do great in this contest!
over 4 years ago Karen Preston said:
Congratulatons on your win. It is well deserved!
over 4 years ago Becca Griffith said:
This is quite good. I loved it in fact. Will you read my poem "Who Are You?" and heart if you like it?
over 4 years ago LaLaLove507 said:
Beautifully done. Your storytelling was lovely, but I wish you had done more showing than telling. It was entrancing though, and I hope you think about expanding it after the contest. :)
over 4 years ago Meri Elena said:
I'm sorry I didn't read this before the contest deadline. I wish my heart could have counted. You deserved the vote.
The scenery and emotions in this piece feel real. I did notice that you said "planes" several times when I believe you meant "plains," but other than that I didn't catch any mistakes. Aside from that piddly grammatical issue, I was generally quite impressed with the story. Everyone loses their childhood one way or another, and you captured that moment perfectly.
over 4 years ago eleanne said:
The descriptiveness of your story is wonderful, I felt immersed in it. But I felt like you could have taken more advantage of that immersion- a more active storyline for example. Don't just drop me into this moorland of yours- take me places inside it! Then again,the dreamlike, meditative quality of this is what makes it stand out. I'm not sure you could achieve that with another type of story. Overall a really good work that I'm glad to heart :) Sorry the contest isn't going to see that. For the swap I'd love for you to read 'Corporeal Methods' which I wrote for the same contest.