27 chapters / 912 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read


The Giyras have been at peace with the creatures of Vanantos for more than a millennium. Now, however, dark powers are stirring, threatening to give rise to an all-out war that will sweep across the continent. A sinister sorcerer, cloaked in darkness, has risen to command the Druukkans, vile lizards who delight in war and bloodshed--a race not seen in the kingdom since the Dawn.

Gornosk, a royal courier, finds himself in the thick of it. after the brutal murder of Oruth Rontarr, the Giyra king, he finds his people turning to him to lead them through the coming strife. Having neither an army nor military skill, Gornosk has no choice but to collect a band of allies--the swift and cunning Irandaatï and the burly, powerful Brûnoks--and face the brutal leader of the lizards.

But is the sorcerer merely a pawn to something even more evil? And is Gornosk enough of a leader to assume the title of Rontarr? The fate of Vanantos will be decided as the Druukkan Wars begin.


Adventure, Fantasy, Novel



about 5 years ago ShelbyNineThirty said:

In response to forum post- Well, I really didn't hate your dialogue. After reading your post, I was buckling down for some really bad mud-slung-on-the-wall dialogue. Yours, my friend, was not bad. Not at all. I've seen way worse from people who think their dialogue is excellent. True, there's room for improvement- but you've got a very good start. Seriously, don't freak out about it. Maybe I would suggest(if you'll forgive my being cliche here) more showing, less telling. Like, break up the convesatiob every once in a while with a short paragraph about... Oh I don't know, smells, the sky, a rock in someone's shoe, whatever. The point is you are doing just fine with dialogue. If you want some examples of fantasy dialogue that really flows well, check out something by John Flanagan from your library. He's quite good at making everything sound natural and not forced :) If you'd like to swap me for my time, could you take a look at the first few chapters(or just the first) of my novel Timestop? It's mostly about time travel... Thanks!


about 5 years ago Dragons and Dragonflies said:

You posted on the forums that you didn't like your dialogue, but it seems fine to me. Some good dialogue exercises are to create a conversation between two siblings driving each other crazy, and a conversation between two old enemies trying to befriend each other. The second one is pretty hard- don't get discouraged if it doesn't come out right.

Great story! Very realistic characters! Though I'd like to know why the lizard things are so evil. They can't all be bad, can they? Some motivation or back story there would be good. I'll keep up with this if I have the time.

Figment profile (2)

over 5 years ago Samantha Woo said:

This is really interesting! I love the flow of the story and the end just leaps at me! (in a good way) Great job! :)


over 5 years ago Free reading for u! <3 said:

You really know how to use words and in a powerful way. You did a great job of fore telling the reader and pulling them in.! Keep writing :)



over 5 years ago Amanda's Notebook said:

Very interesting story! You had incredible detail and a great voice! I really liked your flow and your characters. I totally didn't expect blood-thirsty lizards ;) I didn't really catch any errors so cudos to you :P

I very much enjoyed readng this!

Keep Writing,


*for our swap*

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over 5 years ago Rachel Elkin said:

I'm critiquing this as I go!

-Asunder? That's an unusual word (at least to me) and sort of interrupts the flow.

-Wow! Your details are breathtaking! They immediately pulled me in. And oooh! I already love the world you've created here.

-"were like[ly] to be miserable" You forgot the "ly".

-Ew, toes on a tail? Hehe, very interesting creatures!

-A light, a light! This is getting extremely intriguing...

-What about the other guards? Why doesn't he ask them if they see the light, too?

-What is this curious light... No! Don't touch it...! Dang, he's caught now!

-Wow! This is really playing out in my head like a movie.

-Since Garroks is captilized, I sort of feel as though it should be Lizards instead of lizards. Maybe it's just me.

Anyways, this was very original and super detailed. It was very well written and you should definitely put more up soon! The world you've created here is completely captivating! Nicely done.