6 chapters / 2001 words

Approximately 10 minutes to read


What would happen if beauty, didn't save the beast. What if the witch did? But everyone knows witchs can't fall in love with humans.
*cover by, Alexes*


Half water and half fire hearts

almost 5 years ago Heart of Black Fire said:

It's okay. It has a lot of potential you could tap on to make it better. I like concept and idea behind it though.


over 5 years ago Lilly Maison said:

Okay, so while I think this story has potential, there were a few problems. Firstly, spelling/grammar. This should never be your main focus, but if the story is riddled with little errors (like this one), it takes away from the actual writing. Also, the dialogue was extremely unrealistic. Otherwise, I like the idea of what you are trying to do. I loved Beastly, A Kiss in Time, ect., and I think this is an interesting story. Overall, nice job!


over 5 years ago Amber Coveala said:

Okay, love the idea, Disney is the best!!

There are a couple of things I need to mention though. While I understand that you are expressing anger, I don't think disney characters would swear. For me that took away a lot of the emotion you could have expressed instead of using a curseword. Spelling/grammer. I noticed when you didn't spell right, and I had a difficult time reading some of your setences.

Despite these little things, I really think you have some good things going for you. I like the fact that you changed it to more of a modernday Beauty and the Beast, with witches. Your imagery was well done too. Thanks for forum swapping!


over 5 years ago Rachel Cruze said:

I like the voice of your main character; it sounds like she's got spunk! That being said, your style of writing was a bit messy at times - the sentences weren't always clearly written, so I had to reread them a few times to figure out what exactly was going on. Besides spelling and grammar, it sounds like you're rockin' a fair plot. I would add more description, though - just to add some flavor to the story. Keep on writing ~ :)


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