3 chapters / 4765 words

Approximately 24 minutes to read


Rowena, or Ren as she is often called, is a soldier in King Aldrich’s militia. It is her job to infiltrate rebel camps and organizations and get information along with her fellow comrades. The new America is swamped with rebels, and her team takes them out.
Ren is Gifted with the ability to catch whispers of other peoples thoughts if she comes in contact with their skin, which makes her very good at collecting information for the King. However, she does have a physical drawback. Ren has a vision impairment; she can only see shadows and no colors. Everything is black and white and gray. Since her accident when she was ten which caused her to lose her sight, she has learned to deal with her disability.
Despite her lack of sight, she is a good soldier, and does her job well. Through her militia job, she is able to comfortably support her ill mother.
In this futuristic thrill, Ren discovers truths and lies that turn her world upside down, and she is forced to make an impossible decision: can she turn her back on everything she once knew?

A/N: I changed the protagonist's name to Rowena/Ren. I am trying to focus my energies on this story; I really feel like it has some real potential. I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for about a year and have finally turned it into something. (:



almost 5 years ago Juliet Lee said:

Wow, this story is totally amazing! I really like the storyline, I think it's a really cool idea. I'll be back soon to read more!


almost 5 years ago Nikki Congdon said:

I really like your idea!!!! Its really good and I will be back to read the rest!!! Great job and congrats on winning 2nd place on Cover Competitions!


about 5 years ago Evelyn Voltaire said:

(Thanks so much for the cover!!) I absolutely love this story; the idea is so fascinating and intriguing, and I really like your main character so far. There were a few minor mistakes here and there, nothing a quick edit couldn't fix, but for the most part, it was very well written. I love the last line; it made me want to read the rest even more than I'd already wanted to. Fabulous job!

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about 5 years ago Ava H. C. said:

The descriptions were well written, but there were a few things I thought I’d mention: The first thing I read was the blurb, so I’d like to say how well written it was. In the actual story, Ren’s vision impairment seemed confusing (how she sees shadows). I know I only read the first chapter, though, so perhaps it will be explained later on. Also, I noticed that you used many ‘I’s to begin the sentences. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel annoyed seeing it. However, this didn't distract me from the story much. The plot is really interesting and well thought out. After reading this, I could see how the cover (which is wonderful) matched the story. :)



about 4 years ago Caden Barlow said:

I really like the idea and your plot is intriguing. It would be cool if you went more in depth with how she sees in shadows and described the shadows. Your flow is really good but you might want to add more descriptions of how things look to Ren. I love your names but it isn't very clear that her name is Rowena because everyone calls her Ren all the time. Usually people with nicknames are still called by their real name some of the time, I don't know if your trying to show how close they are with the nicknames but you still should call them by their full name sometimes. Your character development is pretty good too. Your cover is awesome and fitting. I really liked your story and hope you keep writing.

Brooklyn avatar1

almost 5 years ago Brooklyn Schroeder said:

Wow. I love this story! I just read the first chapter, because I'm short on time, but I will definitely be coming back for more. I totally didn't expect she was blind, and I was really surprised how she could read thoughts. I have just a few corrections, though.

When you said: I became more and more frustrated with each stick that I picked up that turn out to be just a stick- turn should be turned.

In the sentence: Bushes logs and roots all became even more of a haphazard- haphazard should be hazard.

The part: Frustrated with myself for not keeping a better composer- composer should be composure

And Minds voice should be mind's voice

Anyways, this was an amazing story. I'm really excited to see where this is going!