Captain Jasper Legion

Captain Jasper Legion

10 chapters / 1449 words

Approximately 7 minutes to read

Description:

POETRY!! FAVORITE!! Cover by Olivia Ossege! Move over Captain Jack Sparrow, there's a new captain making his way through the waters in the Black Crusader (That's his ship). Here's a story of a captain in love with treasure and his fair lady.

Comments(19)

Daw

almost 4 years ago Rin Mcfin said:

Sorry it took so long to get back to you! Thank you so much for the read/comment! I love this poem... I also love the way you split it into ten chapters. You artwork with literature is very appealing, my dear, and I enjoy the voice of your poems. Each one is different! I plan to run back through the ones I read and heart my favorites. Happy writing! :D - Rin Mcfin

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almost 5 years ago Briana Colfer said:

I liked chapter one the best. You had very good descriptions, especially the gory killing of the crew and the dead companion in the cell. It might just be me though, but I don't really see why the other chapters after one have to be in poetry form. They could just as well be a normal story. Good job!

Bleach__ichigo__bankai

about 5 years ago Scorpio Ryder said:

This was absalutly stunning and captivating and wow! Seriously. The story of this is incredible, and your covers are amazing! Awesome job- one of the best poetry pieces I've read! :)

My blue eye

about 5 years ago Behind Sapphire Eyes said:

This was really good, I want more. Cannot wait for 5-10 to be unlocked. I wish, I could write stories by just using poetry. I loved this. No, Jack Sparrow? You, walk t' plank, lass! haha Arrgh! LOL

Reviews(3)

Image

about 5 years ago Anica Ivanitz said:

Great job, although, you need to say shed, instead of shedded in Chapter Three.

Figment

about 5 years ago Juliet Bravo said:

I'm gonna go chapter by chapter on this since that's how my notes are.

Ch 1

It's a good establishing chapter, and I liked the repeated refrain of "when I was a boy of seven." My favorite line was "I wanted to sail away from home/ and return one day as someone important." I guess I liked it because it reminds me of why I'm in college. I want to return home as someone important.

Ch2

Instead of lower-ranked (vague) either just say "low-ranked" or something more descriptive like "lowly." The whole chapter starts off very vague, and could use some more detail, but by the time Jasper joins the crew, the detail is very vivid! I liked the ending and how you gave lots of details about the fight scene. You should consider going back to the beginning of the chapter and adding in more details there, too, so that the whole chapter has a consistent tone

Ch3

Probably the best chapter. The detail in this is amazing, everything from the handprints on the wall to hearing the voices at night. You hit all the senses and make me feel like I was trapped in the cell with him!

Ch4

I love your description of the Captain and the mystery about what is going to happen next to poor Jasper! I'm going to have to look back and see if you write more!

Overall this is a very cool poem and you do a lot of great things with it! Keep adding chapters!