Visiame

Visiame

1 chapter / 1169 words

Approximately 6 minutes to read

Description:

*Formerly Speak of the Devil and She Shall Come*...
Survival of the fittest, humans are not on top anymore. But they won't take that lying down. Kyle knows this, he was nearly a victim. But that is all going to change right NOW.

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Comments(82)

Blue

over 4 years ago Amanda Balogh said:

THIS IS GREAT. Absolutely amazing! No complaints at all about the story, which doesn't happen too often. I would say you should continue this, but the ending is just right, so I think you should leave it the way it is. Fantastic story!!!

The creation of sheri

over 4 years ago Sheri Beal said:

It's very well written and i like it. i did find a couple of things that confused me at first though, so you might want to go back and edit a bit. one thing that confused me is the sentence: The bullet simply her skin, showing cascading, jagged streaks of blue raw power resonating out from where it hit. maybe putting the bullet hit her skin simply showing..might make more sense. also at the ends the sentence where it says i reached into my pocket and pulled it out. you might want to state it's a map before hand because until i read the sentence after i was wondering what is the character pulling out of their pocket..otherwise. great job.

Tim_burtons_alice_in_wonderland_conceptart_r5ehr

over 4 years ago Laura said:

very well written and detailed. Your words flow well with each other.

Nice work ~Laura :)

N

over 4 years ago Savvy McFarland said:

Is there going to be more? It's really good!

Reviews(12)

Large (4)

over 4 years ago Margaryta said:

I won't lie, I found myself very confused throughout the majority of this story, and even in the end still had some of the confusion remaining. Maybe that's just me though. You have a rather good premise to work with, however due to the numerous gramatical errors it was a little difficult to read, so I'd really recommend rereading this and filling in missing connecting words, words that would just make your sentences seem more logical, and fix up spelling mistakes. However the idea of this story was very interesting though due to my confusion throughout the reading I enjoyed this story less than I potentially could have.

Image

almost 5 years ago Moriah said:

Great job! I loved the story! It was such a surprising twist - I expected that the narrator would continue getting questioned, when suddenly ...this...happened! Nice work, I loved yur writing. Best of luck with the contest.