The Price of Talent

The Price of Talent

102 chapters / 62666 words

Approximately about 5 hours to read

Description:

In a world where nothing is guaranteed, the World's Entertainment Agency promises safety and comfort to the most talented teenagers in the world. Actors, writers, singers, dancers, models, and artists are recruited, trained, and guided. They become some of the greatest names that the world has ever known. But everything comes with a price. How much would you sacrifice for your freedom? *unfinished* Note: This is a FIRST draft. So, if you spot any typos or other errors, please let me know immediately so I can fix them. Cover by the amazing Olivia Ossege. Some of the later chapters are really short. I'll consolidate and edit once I'm finished with the first draft. Thanks for your patience. :)

Genres:

Adventure, Romance, Novel

Comments(12)

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almost 5 years ago Zoe Becquart said:

97 chapters now? You go, Glen Coco!

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almost 5 years ago Scarlett Symphony said:

Hi there! I've read all the way up to the last chapter...I'm desperately awaiting for more.

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almost 5 years ago Justin (SparkFire) Bretz said:

I loved it, but I would suggest writing your age numbers out in word form. :) I only had time to read the first few chapter, which are well written and I'm assuming your second draft will make each chapter longer in some way. I have to commend you though on having the most chapters I have ever seen in a figment book. :O

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almost 5 years ago Lorelle Shorten said:

I have read the first few chapters, and I think this is so good! Brilliant and original plot, great descriptions, well developed characters - excellent all round. Enjoying very much :)

Reviews(11)

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over 4 years ago Stuck in a Cupcake said:

Chapter 3:

Chapter 3

"He was really good. They were all good, sure, but he seemed better than the rest." It seems sudden. She only watched him dance for about thirty seconds. You can't judge the best dancer from that short of a performance. Maybe just cut the "They were all good, sure, but he seemed better than the rest." bit.

"Shouldn't you be dancing?" Maybe "Shouldn't you be practicing or something?" But, that's just my preference.

"Fine! He was amazing, beautiful, and breathtaking." Robynn confuses me. She'll be totally subtle one minute and way over the top the next. I think this is maybe a bit too over the top. Perhaps just say, "Fine! He was breathtaking. Satisfied?" It might flow better.

"We're not allowed to fall in love for as long as we're in WEA. To do so would result in swift and devastating consequences." The love comment seems pre-mature at this point. Aliya didn't say anything about love. She just said like. The fact that she jumps straight to love and then denying it, it's unrealistic. Maybe, "It wouldn't be allowed anyway. Management hates that kind of thing. If I did like him and Management found out, I could be (insert major consequence here) and unlike you, I have a family to protect!"

"So, if you don't like him," Aliya said, stooping to pick up one of the pieces of paper. "Then what's this? It's good. Looks just like him. I didn't know you could draw like this." While this is fine, you should probably have her acknowledge what Robynn has just said about the WEA and her family. Just a thought.

Aliya placed a hand on Robynn's shoulder. "I didn't mean it like that. You know I didn't." Seems too adult. I mean, she's supposed to be a teenage girl. Accusations don't sit well. She'd probably be more defensive now and understanding later.

"For Tae." I like the cryptic-ness, but I wonder if this isn't a bit too cryptic. Maybe expand? You don't have to though. Again, just preference.

"A high ankle sprain." is high the right word? It could be, I just don't know if it is...

"Are you sure that's wise, Robynn? I have reasons to believe that he's watched more closely than the rest of us. He's young, after all. They won't take any chances." Maybe just say, "he's watched more closely than the rest of us." Rather than using the "I have reasons to believe" thing. It makes him sound like a lawyer.

Robynn watched him go. "That was...different." while I think this is a good end, you might make it a thought rather than dialogue.

Chapter 4:

Hey, I really liked most of this chapter. You did a great job of adding depth to Storm's character, and the introduction of Diamond was brilliant.

"The men watched them for a moment," I believe men should be man.

"The three of them spun around, to find Lysander leaning against the door frame, an amused expression on his face." Just a thought here. Maybe instead of saying "amused expression", you could say what makes it amused. A tweaked lip, huge smile, squinting eyes, raised eyebrows... what, upon seeing his expression, makes you think he's amused? Description is always good.

Storm made a face, but strode into the middle of the floor. "Very well. Music, please, Jayden."

"Music?" Diamond glanced at storm. "But I thought..."

"She circled him, observing his pose. "It was good. Not great. Your right arm needs to be a bit higher and your left," she adjusted his limbs with a gentle touch, "is a bit too high. Plus, you didn't seem to understand the purpose of Tae's dance. It's all about the lines. When you do this," she kicked out, demonstrating one of the moves, "you need to keep your toes pointed. Your legs aren't as long as Tae's, so it's even more important to point your toes. It makes them look longer." She's contradictory. Earlier she acted like she didn't know what she needed to dance, then she appeared to be taken away by the elegance of Storm's perfect dancing, and now she's doing all this critique. You need to make the different points of her character cohesive. Either she needs to learn the whole time, or she's over confident the whole time.

Either will work, you just need to decide which you like.

Overall though, this is great. I apologize yet again for how long it has been, but I haven't forgotten about this, and I will keep working on it!

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almost 5 years ago Scarlett Symphony said:

Well, in response to the question you asked: what I really like about it is the fact that you've managed to surprise me. I've read books like this many times, and I've been able to predict what's going to happen but you've surprised me. That deserves a job well done.