The Pull of Nature

The Pull of Nature

1 chapter / 1673 words

Approximately 8 minutes to read

Description:

(Cover by Rubee) Carol Carson has always felt a certain... connection to animals and nature. She owns a zoo's worth of animals, (not including her younger brother Mike,) and goes over to her best friend Joey's house to watch National Geographic on the weekends. Then Carol's average life gets turned upside down when she realizes she can understand animals... and they're telling her that she is destined to help protect them.

Genres:

Adventure, Fantasy, Novel

Comments(16)

4

almost 5 years ago eleneia said:

This is really cute! It does seem like it's a bit childish, but if you're targeting it towards them, go ahead. Still, thirteen years old seems a bit old to be doing this stuff. I was thirteen a few months ago, and I never spoke or acted like this, or knew anyone who did. Maybe make the character younger? Other than that, it was a fun read!

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almost 5 years ago Anon said:

I really liked this! I disagree with some of the comments, I think your voice is really good. Or maybe you've gone back and edited since then, but I really didn't see too many errors.

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about 5 years ago Aivilo said:

This was good, but it needs a little more show-don't-tellness. The way you introduced things like 'I guess I should tell you about...' kind of breaks the flow, so you should find a way to incorporate a description without telling the readers exactly what you are going to do.

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about 5 years ago Amanda C said:

This was sweet and i like your writing style however, it just didn't really click with me. When I saw the cover I thought Yay! sci-fi fantasy!XD then i read it and realised it was another- 'I'm just a normal teenage girl, with an annoying little brother who always gets his way, a biy in my grade who is TOTALLY annoying and a bestest friend in the world ever, oh and a large number of boring pets'- so yeah i guess this just isn't aimed at my age group and is not really the kind of stuff I read anyway but if it was aimed at a certain demographic I think it did well for them ~Amanda

Reviews(9)

Meandmybaby

about 4 years ago Brittany Ann Mason said:

I disagree with the statement that there is too much of a childish sense to this. I didn't find anything too childish for a thirteen year-old girl. I have a sister at that age who's more childish than your character. xD Overall, I liked it. I will admit that the flow was indeed a tad disjunct, but not so much so that it was confusing. It was easy to understand, and the mental imagery was a bit shaky, but not too bad. However, like I said, I enjoyed this! :) Keep up the good work.

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over 4 years ago Hannah Wolfram said:

This was an interesting concept for the piece; however, as it has been mentioned before, the writing seems a bit to childish for someone of thirteen years. Twelve or under, I could see. But when you make that transition to thirteen... Anyway, other than that, I thought that the story could have flowed better. At times, it felt rushed, and that was not always a positive experience for me, as the reader. But overall, if you make a couple little tweaks, edits, and perhaps add some more description, this could be a truly interesting piece. ^.^