The Night the Stars Shot

The Night the Stars Shot

1 chapter / 821 words

Approximately 4 minutes to read

Description:

PLEASE READ THIS! I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!

Did I do it?

Read to find out.

Comments(44)

Image 5

over 4 years ago Literature Lover said:

This is hilarious!! I love it! Gave me a good laugh multiple times! Very nice writing!

Fullsizerender

almost 5 years ago Aurora Sanders said:

OoOo...her husband did it? Oh no! Hilarious!

Fox01

almost 5 years ago Emma Reed said:

i like this a lot, and how you make the voice of the woman and the officer one :)

419557_3356218631715_1456453989_3044803_45670128_n

almost 5 years ago Drulicious said:

Very good. The first sentence is a run-on I believe, but it works. I liked your flow and how you had it like the character was talking to a police officer. Also loved at the end how you added the "My husband" part.

Reviews(4)

Siberian-husky

over 4 years ago Chris Schaff said:

Okay. So some people whine about the punctuation or the sentence structure. That wasn't that bad for how the story was. Overall, I enjoyed it. It was kinda funny, fast paced, and coherent despite being so full of mini-rabbit trails and disjointed thoughts, haha. I really only found one thing: Not Mr. Mustard. Colonel Mustard. ;)

Image

almost 5 years ago Paige Johnson said:

No-good and very-bad is rather redundant. Murdered the late Mr. Mildew is also redundant. No comma after saying that dogs. There's NO way the cop would let you reach into your pocket after he already ordered you to raise your hands, even if he seen the photo. It's just protocol. Comma after husband and before does. Comma after hit. There's no need for punctuation of what's in parentheses, especially not outside.You mean dessert. Overtly ridiculous. The Night the Stars Shot would be italicized. You mean you're welcome.