1 chapter / 1145 words

Approximately 6 minutes to read


Finalist in the Break My Heart contest. WARNING: this is pretty gruesome, and pretty intense. If you think it might be too much for you, don't read. If I asked you to read this for a swap, and you aren't comfortable with it, I give you permission to read something else.



over 4 years ago J. Li said:

Oh gosh, this was great! You captured that perfect horror with descriptive phrases and vivid imagery that pulled the reader directly into the story. I loved the plot of this, it was very unique and creative, and I love your scenes that lead to the final ending, very well crafted. Overall, an amazing job!


almost 5 years ago Emily Swiers said:

This is a great piece. I really loved your descriptions and I am all for horror! Your writing was incredibly consistent and just awesome.


about 5 years ago Abby A said:

Wow I absolutely LOVE the imagery it was amazing! Your story was thrilling and it was not predictable, great job!


about 5 years ago Nisha Sukumar said:

I like your story, because of the really good descriptive language used in it. I'm not a really big fan of horror stories but I really liked yours. Good job!



about 5 years ago maria-chan said:

Ho-ly shit. I have some good competition ;) I'm also a finalist for this contest, and I have to say; I think you're gonna win.Some of the entries that got in @.@ urgh, god, it's like they only had hearts because the writers whored the pieces out. Only a few of the pieces are actually interesting and powerful. Yours being the top one ;) mine? I don't really know! I just know that I'm in love with your imagery and mood. Andrew's panic and guilt are so realistic and heavy, especially when he pleads "no" to Katie. Bravo.:) good luck in the contest.


about 5 years ago Ariel T. Hawkinz said:

sorry its late i thought it waz cute. i mean it wasnt terribly scary. if ur gonna make it odd exaggerate a little bit more and also u could i don't know fix other thing. It had great descriptions.