The Labyrinth

The Labyrinth

2 chapters / 290 words

Approximately 1 minute to read

Description:

*Description and Story in progress* There are 12 major criminals fighting against the Phonibe which is the highest form of government. The Phonibe controls everything in your life, even who you marry. There is a mandated curfew, for everyone, and the streets are patrolled by guards. These 12 'criminals' are trying to fight against the Phonibe and are caught and put into a Labyrinth that has 8 monsters in it and 8 layers to it they're put in it for entertainment and punishment. Nobody's even made it out alive will they ever have a chance to?

***Cover made by: Saga K.***

Comments(18)

Gilberto

almost 5 years ago guppie b said:

It's a very interesting concept! Maybe add a bit more detail on where they are and such.

There's a lot of potential, it'd be great to see more added to this!

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almost 5 years ago Disgrace said:

I look forward to you writing more, if you plan to

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almost 5 years ago Anna Aldaba said:

It's a very interesting start! I'd love to read more of it as it gets updated! :) My only constructive comment would be about the slight overuse of commas in the prologue. Otherwise, great job! :)

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almost 5 years ago M. Offerman said:

Very intense. But, I kinda liked it :) No suggestions really, at least not until more is posted. :)

Reviews(7)

Raindrops

about 5 years ago Anna B. said:

Very good, I love where you're going with this. It'd a fabulous idea and I think it will be very good. I'd like to read more. However, even from the beginning it seemed rushed. Tell us about the appearances or the emotions the girl feels, maybe. The reader wants to know more. The prologue needs edited a bit, and I would refer to the "special powers" as something more like "gifts" or "unique abilities." I don't know why, but the special power thing seemed like a superhero thing and from what I've picked up it doesn't sound like it's about superheroes. Very good, though! I'd love to read more.

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about 5 years ago Madeline T. said:

Swap response: Really good! I love the plot, and it's well-written. There were a few errors in the prologue, but it said rough copy, so you probably know that already. Also, in the first chapter, it seemed to move to quickly. Slow it down and add more detail, and it will be even better. Otherwise, excellent work, I'm eager to read more!