Cracked

Cracked

1 chapter / 1199 words

Approximately 6 minutes to read

Description:

I read somewhere once, "a cracked egg cannot be cured"--or maybe it was Robin who told me. Either way, the city of Nott is our egg, rotted from the inside, and I guess it falls to us to crack it.

*A spin on Robin Hood in a futuristic, distopian society. From Marian's POV.*
*For the Dark Star Short Story Contest. Please heart.*

Comments(17)

Tranduil

about 5 years ago Becka "34Wonderland" Hanks said:

Wow. The first paragraph really is a grabber, good job.

Animegirl-4

about 5 years ago R.J. Jean said:

This was just incredible and interesting on all levels. I love the cover, and the story was just amazing. I love the idea you took, and this is completely deserving of the win.

Imgres

about 5 years ago Heather Marie said:

Amazing!

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about 5 years ago Evelyn Voltaire said:

Wow, this is awesome. The first sentence immediately pulls you in and I love your take on the Robin Hood stories. I like reading/writing fairy tale-based stories, so I'll probably check out more of your stuff later on. This is really good.

Reviews(2)

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about 5 years ago Riley Maleau said:

Hey! This is for our swap! Sorry it took so long. I'd like to rate your different story elements on what I liked and what can be improved. It's a bit of a long review, but stick with me.

Amazing:

:D Setting - I could imagine the futuristic city very well

:D Blurb

:D Word use - Imagery is perfect

:D Title - One-word titles are awesome.

:D Cover - Beautiful

Well Done: :) Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling - A few missing commas

:) Plot - Didn't understand where the main characters came from if they were born outside the city. The "world" outside the city is not even really mentioned.

:) Opening

:) Originality/Creativity - Robin Hood re-imagined

:) Characters - Wasn't sure about the relationship of the girl to the two boys

Not really very much critique on this. Interesting piece.

Keep Writing!

Riley M. Royal

Profile pic

about 5 years ago Shayymin said:

I thought that you did a really good job!

I think that you should have explained Robin's and the character's romance.

Also, I think that you should have explained a little bit more why they were stealing money. You said that no one was poor in Nott, so was the money for themselves?

Other than that, great job!