Timeless night

Timeless night

1 chapter / 3335 words

Approximately 17 minutes to read

Description:

♦Inspired by RP between me and Kristen Cervantes Writer of the white Sages :) ♦
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Hawk (Aadon Jr) Is the one and only WereHawk in the Western Clan of Werebeings. When The Poachers force Hawk to send his wife ahead he must go through an Odyssey of a journey to reunite with his wife and clan. But....will the journey though Poacher land change him from who he truly is?

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Comments(7)

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about 5 years ago Melanie P. said:

Very intense opening! Overall it was very good and I really liked the relationship between the fox and the hawk!!!

Blogger

about 5 years ago The Rabid Husky said:

For the swap:

The idea was very unique and I loved it. Your descriptions were also very good, it let me see everything through Hawk's eyes. You, ma'am, are a great writer.

But, there were many errors in the story. And at some parts, I got confused. You could also take out some words of sentences that aren't needed. Other than that, it was still a great story.

And, for the swap, please read "The Chicken Chaser" :)

Zaina

about 5 years ago Zaina K. said:

Good Work!

Reviews(2)

Dsc01108

about 5 years ago Laura Aliria said:

You can't be heart-broken and emotionally dead at the same time.

Also, "Tho I was a large man [INSERT COMMA] 180 pounds 0f muscle, I've never felt smaller.

..I want to comment inline. Grrr.

Ry

about 5 years ago Ryanne Kap said:

Interesting premise. As you know yourself an enemy to the "Grammar Nazis," I won't have to elaborate on the grammar and spelling mistakes. An issue I'd like to address is the lack of separation between past and present. There were a few times when the action seemed random and unprecedented. I wasn't able to get a good grip on what was going on; it was a bit confusing. Like I said, interesting premise.