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Approximately 4 minutes to read
Runner up for the steampunk contest. Thanks to everyone who checked it out and hearted. Three men in a strange world wish to save more than themselves.
over 5 years ago Hannah Clove said:
Wow that was amazing! Great dialogue. Congrats on the contest! :)
over 5 years ago Johnny Riley said:
Thank you. I'm actually toying with the idea of writing a complete Coast manuscript. That's for the encouragement.
over 5 years ago Kristin Yuki said:
Thrilling & suspenseful! I was really enjoying the Old West-esque set up. You managed to pack in a lot of detail, background, and character development within the word limit (I'm assuming it was 750?) Are you planning on continuing with this at all? I really hope you do because I'm genuinely interested in finding out what happened to Annabeth, who the Taggers are, and if they ever get ahold of the Narrika. Great job!
over 5 years ago Destiny Howell said:
Very good. I find that I want to read more though I's understand wanting to leave it as is. I'm impressed by your worldbuilding(It reminds me a little of the last eps of Dollhouse, if that means anything to you). I'll be looking out for your stuff in the future.
almost 5 years ago •Brooklyn Fairchild• said:
Amazing! Your dialogue was a little confusing at times, but the premise of the story was chilling and the characters were very, very realistic. I wish I had known a little more about Annabeth, the ring, and the relationship the narrator had to Annabeth. Other than that, though, this was excellent and I was hungry for more at the end. It felt like this could be turned into a novel, but that may just be wishful thinking on my part :)
over 5 years ago Flying Kiwi said:
Good story. It would benefit from checking the spelling again, though, and it's really a shame that, as soon as the burning arrow flies into the story, you seem to really lose inspiration. Suddenly the story speeds up a lot, which very much undermines the quality. A lot of things happen at once, things that deserve more of an explanation ;)
All in all, I found it very interesting, but I'm sure you can do better, you show that in the first half.