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over 4 years ago c said:
Hearted! If you would like to swap please read/heart my story “Ella and Sam were here.” Thanks!
over 4 years ago Marti said:
Perfect. Do a swap with me. I'll read your story and you should read mine.
Before seven colors, After seven days
over 4 years ago abbey anne said:
Such a cute story! The only thing I would change is the sisters age. Because when I was twelve, I think I was more mature than that. I can picture a delusional sister to be eight or nine. Other than that, this was fantastic:)
over 4 years ago Kadalia Patton said:
This is really awesome!!
over 4 years ago Rachel Pengilly said:
Hey, I love this! Well written, which is seriously amazing considering English isn't your first language, and funny.
One piece of advice I can give you is to break up your paragraphs a bit more, just so that it's easier to read. Oh, and the first sentence: add a few commas in there because they'll break it down and make it flow more - as well as make it easier to read. You don't really need those things later on in the book, but the first sentence needs to be easy to read, so that the reader is hooked.
Hearted and loved it :) I only had time for the first chapter, but I'll come back later :)
over 4 years ago Hayley Garron said:
For someone who doesn't speak English as their first language, writing prose can be hard (i would know, my first language is Hebrew). But you did excellent and i didn't really see any grammar mistakes. I like the single sentences you used to separate paragraphs. they sound nice and not too wordy. I love your title, haha as i am a fan of Perks of Being a Wallflower. And i like the sarcasm in the beginning of your piece. good work! keep writing! xoxo