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Approximately 2 minutes to read
The one thing men will never understand. Giggling girls.
almost 4 years ago Miss Huli Jing said:
This was so cute lolol I could totally imagine this scene. Very nice job!! xD
about 4 years ago Karen Schaffer said:
p.s. Just realized this was for an old contest - don't know how I got here - but it doesn't minimize my enjoyment.
Well done. I really enjoyed your story. I like that Luke got himself out of the frying pan of a bunch of giggly girls and into the fryer with one who will be much more challenging and yet more rewarding - if he can figure her out.
Snappy dialogue. Delicious.
*sigh* I was going to leave it at that, but if you did have time to read Cutoff and it was a heartfelt heart, I'd appreciate it. No need to swap though - only if it works.
about 4 years ago Samantha Salazar said:
This made me laugh. The dialogue was great. :) I hearted your story. Would you mind checking out my story Memories of Juliana. Here's the link: http://figment.com/books/538361
Thanks a bundle.
about 4 years ago Evie said:
Haha, I love this. SO cute and funny. ^_^ I only found one thing that might be corrected, so great job!
Where you wrote “…to solve it was as comprehendible as the squeals…” I’m not sure comprehendible is the word you want. Perhaps “incomprehensible”? The only way that “comprehendible” really works there is if it’s sarcastic, and sarcasm doesn’t really seem to fit with this story.
I love how you had the girls finishing each other’s sentences, it’s quite hilarious. From their reaction and Luke’s perplexity, it seems he’s new at the school, perhaps fresh from home school or an all-boy’s school. In any case, I found this short to be refreshing and fun, and quite easy to read. Good luck in the contest!
over 4 years ago Christine Johansen said:
This is an adorable piece! I'm sure you're tired of hearing that by now, but it's true. The only mistake I noticed was in the third line "...How anyone managed to come with a math equation as complicated as the one in front of him..."
You just forgot to add "up" after "to come". It should be ..."to come up with..."
I always love reading lighthearted stories such as these; they really brighten my day. Good luck in the contest!