The Cure

The Cure

24 chapters / 54877 words

Approximately about 5 hours to read

Description:

*2nd draft has begun* A star next to a chapter title means that chapter is part of the second draft.

COMPLETE NOVEL: Adler knows she will die. One day, most likely very soon, her body will give out and there is nothing she can do about it...or can she? When Adler finds a mysterious plant inside her region borders she wonders if it's a threat or the last chance she'll ever get to live.

Genres:

Dystopian, Novel, Action

Comments(32)

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over 4 years ago Lord Charlotte said:

wow this is FABULOUS!

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over 4 years ago Lindsey Hazel Allaire said:

I only read the prologue since I'm honestly extremely busy, but it made me want to know what was going on in context of the rest of the story. I noticed a few grammar errors, mainly with semicolon and comma placement. Nice job though; I'm sure you'll catch those.

Milan london

over 4 years ago mena london said:

Wow, this was EPIC. I'm truly speechless. I did not mean to read all of it, but I had to. This was beyond amazing, and you need to be a published author.

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over 4 years ago Heather Kirchhoff said:

Good job!

Reviews(7)

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over 3 years ago Teagan Romyn said:

I only had time to read the Prologue and the first chapter, but I liked what I read! The way you kicked off the Prologue was great. The 'grey' repetition really set the scene and kept me interested. It makes for a really powerful mental image, and you carry it through the first chapter.

There were a few little grammatical errors - I think you had 'failing' instead of 'falling' at one point. Another thing: you may want to have a look at the way you word your sentences, just switching things around to make them a little clearer.

Might I just give to you a heartfelt congratulations that you haven't infodumped!!! You've spaced out all of the filler information of your story world in a way that makes it easy for the reader to follow. Well done!

A few sentences could be cut off here and there to make the prose a bit tighter, but overall its very good. I sometimes found my concentration slipping at certain points, but I think this can be fixed by taking an axe to unnecessary sentences.

When I get some time, I'll read some more and keep providing feedback (and more detailed feedback :) ). I was wondering if you might be interested in doing a swap? Seeing as I've reviewed your piece, could you please read some of "The League of Second Sons"?

All in all, this is a great story so far. I'm looking forward to reading more!

14

almost 5 years ago Rayne said:

Overall opinion: Wonderfully written and interesting to read. Btw I read the prologue and the first chapter

Weakness in character(s): Okay, the two things I saw missing in the MC was, first off, her name. Now, I know, you did mention her name a few times, Adler. And I know you're just presenting the story in the first chapter, so you don't have time to mention her name a lot, but just make sure you do mention it more in the following chapters. It's a hard thing for first person stories, to remember to menition more then once, the main character's name. Okay on to my second weakness. I don't think you showed enough emotional descriptions as you introduced us to this story. I want to know how she feels about her life.

Strength in character(s): I really liked the voice of the character as you explain her life. We could see clearly what her life was like, but you kept it interesting.

Weakness in plot: Okay, I don't know if this is a weakness, but I need something sooo.... anyways, it seemed to me to be a lot like the Hunger Games without the hunger games.

Strength in plot: I really liked how you started off the first chapter with commenting on everything being grey. That really set the mood for your story. I liked the mystery of the factory. I think you have a really good storytelling voice, it makes the story easy to read.

Weakness in other (dialogue, descriptions, setting, grammar, spelling): I think your biggest issue is adding more emotional descriptions.

Strength in other (dialogue, description, setting, grammar, spelling): Your setting was excellent and I saw no grammar/spelling errors, so yay!

Things to work on: Hrm, overall, this was an excellent piece, very interesting! So, if you are really looking for something to work on I would just look at the weaknesses sections above.

Keep writing on and never give up!

Stay classy,

Rayne