Just Winifred

Just Winifred

5 chapters / 2961 words

Approximately 15 minutes to read

Description:

Once upon a time, princesses were annoying. And things never changed. But when the dragon returned and Winifred found 'The Modern Girl's Guide to Successful Beast Slaying', interesting things were bound to happen.

Comments(30)

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almost 4 years ago Andrew Baer said:

haha wow this is great

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over 4 years ago Amy Jo Graham said:

My favorite part was in Chapter three when the Queen said, "We're too ungoogled to be attacked. . ."

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over 4 years ago Helena Valvur said:

THIS IS WONDERFUL. You're extremely witty, and had me laughing the entire time. Please continue this!! It's too good to keep unfinished.

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over 4 years ago Vinnie Jeffords said:

LAWL. I love this! I love the cover too. Adventure Time Sword. XD

Reviews(10)

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almost 4 years ago Katherine the Great said:

I have never actually laughed out loud at a story on this website before, and you just accomplished that, so congrats. (The line that got me was "she ran around the castle and ate a lot of plums.")

This is seriously fantastic. You add so many great details, like all the other children in Spain and Belgium and Monaco and what not, and their success, and you hint at world-building points without being info-dumpy about it (like when Beatrice mentions in passing the social system based on looks).

I also really love the setting you have. It's really quirky. They've got wikipedia and painkillers, but also dragons and monarchs. I think you could develop the setting a bit more, though, and you probably will naturally in later chapters. Maybe you could add a little bit more description of the world around Winifred, to give a clearer picture of what exactly the kingdom of Soille (I think I spelled that right?) is like, and where in time it sits, because the setting in itself is great, and with development it could be even greater.

You have great dialogue, but a lot of times it sort of sits without body language, which might be something to work on to enhance the story.

Anyway, great job--I can't find much to criticize at all. I'll keep reading this if you keep posting more!

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almost 4 years ago Eustacia Tan said:

I love this! I was laughing throughout the five chapters! I think you have a real gift for wit.

The only thing I can suggest would be not to let the humour overtake the story. Even if this satire, there still has to be a plot, and there still has to be characters. I like Winifred, but she does feel a little flat - if you can make her funny and real (perhaps she can be self-aware and break the fourth wall or something), you'll be able to sustain the whole story. I think it's hard to sustain a story on just jokes.

I'm also a bit confused as to where the story is taking place. The first chapter felt quite story-book land-ish, but then it changed into a modern (albeit royal) version of our world. If you can change things like "instagram" and "indie" to something else that is still recognisable (think of Terry Pratchett and things like "music with rocks in it"), it'll make the story a lot stronger.