if I win the seventeen.com contest, I will DONATE the ENTIRE prize to animals foundations/ stopping animal testings. That is a promise. please support me!!!
This is really great! I love animals too, and I'm against hurting animals and all for science. I like the part where she feels betrayed when she realizes her free beauty samples were being tested on animals. The emotions seemed realistic, but I have to agree with Badwolf because there are several holes. Although, it'd be kind of difficult to cover everything with the word limit. Also, starting with the middle made it a lot more interesting than it would be all in order :)
~Riya
P.S. Good luck with the contest and saving the animals! (or some, at least :))
Hi, i published my first book a two months ago, on amazon. I need people to check it out. I hope you will, if you check out my book i promise i will read any of your stories and give you my honest opinion about it.
Here's the link for the book: http://www.amazon.com/Ebonys-Journey-Macarevhics-Shantel-Williams/dp/1482328399
My website link: http://shanteltheauthor.webs.com/
Your writing is excellent. It evokes emotion. Unfortunately, you also have a lot of thing in your story–– key elements–– that don't make any sense/are unrealistic.
1) She would not have been able to keep test animals in her parka–– let alone pick one up to pet it–– without them freaking out and clawing/biting her. They've become used to humans doing terrible, painful things to them. Why would she be any different to them, being that she's human?
2) She wouldn't just be able to enter a testing facility. She'd need at least an ID badge.
3) If the animals weren't being attended to (which, more likely than not there would be at least someone looking after them), they would be in a storage facility, which would be more like the kennels of a vet's clinic. That means no test tubes or microscopes. Those are for the labs only, which are being attended to by scientists and other testers.
4)There would be cameras everywhere. I mean, how else would security be able to keep track of everything? This would mean that they probably would have caught her, even before she got out of the building with them, and she would have been arrested.
5) She couldn't just "walk in" and almost immediately find the animals. It would be a lot further in. It's not like this is a concentration camp or anything, where you'd walk in and see prisoners everywhere (which, by the way, would also have guards ;D).
I appreciate your writing and your desire to get it out there that animal testing is bad (I mostly agree with that.) But, please, for the sake of logic and keeping your "argument" sound so that those pro-animal testing people can't put it aside, please, please, please do some research? Thanks!
Wow!! This is an amazing story and your writing is spectacular!! I'm with you on this 100%, animal cruelty is a horrible and despicable thing and I wish you all the best of luck on your quest to save these poor helpless animals!!
Comments(456)
11 days ago Riya S. said:
This is really great! I love animals too, and I'm against hurting animals and all for science. I like the part where she feels betrayed when she realizes her free beauty samples were being tested on animals. The emotions seemed realistic, but I have to agree with Badwolf because there are several holes. Although, it'd be kind of difficult to cover everything with the word limit. Also, starting with the middle made it a lot more interesting than it would be all in order :) ~Riya P.S. Good luck with the contest and saving the animals! (or some, at least :))
25 days ago Athena Varvarezis said:
I LOVED this piece because like you I am completely against animal testing :)
about 1 month ago Niya said:
CONTINUE!!!
This story was SO sad! It looks like they use a WHOLE bunch of cats.
:c
about 1 month ago True-Writer17 said:
Hi, i published my first book a two months ago, on amazon. I need people to check it out. I hope you will, if you check out my book i promise i will read any of your stories and give you my honest opinion about it. Here's the link for the book: http://www.amazon.com/Ebonys-Journey-Macarevhics-Shantel-Williams/dp/1482328399
My website link: http://shanteltheauthor.webs.com/
Reviews(87)
18 days ago Badwolf said:
Your writing is excellent. It evokes emotion. Unfortunately, you also have a lot of thing in your story–– key elements–– that don't make any sense/are unrealistic.
1) She would not have been able to keep test animals in her parka–– let alone pick one up to pet it–– without them freaking out and clawing/biting her. They've become used to humans doing terrible, painful things to them. Why would she be any different to them, being that she's human?
2) She wouldn't just be able to enter a testing facility. She'd need at least an ID badge.
3) If the animals weren't being attended to (which, more likely than not there would be at least someone looking after them), they would be in a storage facility, which would be more like the kennels of a vet's clinic. That means no test tubes or microscopes. Those are for the labs only, which are being attended to by scientists and other testers.
4)There would be cameras everywhere. I mean, how else would security be able to keep track of everything? This would mean that they probably would have caught her, even before she got out of the building with them, and she would have been arrested.
5) She couldn't just "walk in" and almost immediately find the animals. It would be a lot further in. It's not like this is a concentration camp or anything, where you'd walk in and see prisoners everywhere (which, by the way, would also have guards ;D).
I appreciate your writing and your desire to get it out there that animal testing is bad (I mostly agree with that.) But, please, for the sake of logic and keeping your "argument" sound so that those pro-animal testing people can't put it aside, please, please, please do some research? Thanks!
about 1 month ago Cupcakes said:
Wow!! This is an amazing story and your writing is spectacular!! I'm with you on this 100%, animal cruelty is a horrible and despicable thing and I wish you all the best of luck on your quest to save these poor helpless animals!!