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Approximately 2 minutes to read
if I win the seventeen.com contest, I will DONATE the ENTIRE prize to animals foundations/ stopping animal testings. That is a promise. please support me!!!
18 days ago Im Batman in disguise said:
about 1 month ago Daniel Pyo said:
I love the story and the topic of the story but, it went a little to fast for me. I think it would have been better if the story was introduced better or more. Thou, the story was very good overall and I loved the topic.
3 months ago Mikey said:
Good job,I like it
4 months ago mikangeroo said:
This is a captivating story! I love that it tugs on the heartstrings (I know, so cliché), but animal lovers everywhere will be attached to this piece. It isn't quite perfect (and I hope it's not finished; I would love to read more) but it has a great plot and that emotion element that make it great. Keep writing!
8 months ago Haylei said:
Your concept of the story is great but you speed Things a bit too fast first of all the main question a few readers will probably ask is, who is our character. From the description the only thing that we can get from our character is the fact that "he" is actually a "she". But what is her name? You need to take your time to introduce the story. But all in all it is a really good story.
10 months ago Badwolf said:
Your writing is excellent. It evokes emotion. Unfortunately, you also have a lot of thing in your story–– key elements–– that don't make any sense/are unrealistic.
1) She would not have been able to keep test animals in her parka–– let alone pick one up to pet it–– without them freaking out and clawing/biting her. They've become used to humans doing terrible, painful things to them. Why would she be any different to them, being that she's human?
2) She wouldn't just be able to enter a testing facility. She'd need at least an ID badge.
3) If the animals weren't being attended to (which, more likely than not there would be at least someone looking after them), they would be in a storage facility, which would be more like the kennels of a vet's clinic. That means no test tubes or microscopes. Those are for the labs only, which are being attended to by scientists and other testers.
4)There would be cameras everywhere. I mean, how else would security be able to keep track of everything? This would mean that they probably would have caught her, even before she got out of the building with them, and she would have been arrested.
5) She couldn't just "walk in" and almost immediately find the animals. It would be a lot further in. It's not like this is a concentration camp or anything, where you'd walk in and see prisoners everywhere (which, by the way, would also have guards ;D).
I appreciate your writing and your desire to get it out there that animal testing is bad (I mostly agree with that.) But, please, for the sake of logic and keeping your "argument" sound so that those pro-animal testing people can't put it aside, please, please, please do some research? Thanks!