Want to follow along with this writing? Sign up Today, it's free and easy
Approximately less than a minute to read
Inspired by the Christmas song, Last Christmas
After Christmas, you were gone. I can't stand you anymore.
about 4 years ago Brittney Cook said:
I was thinking "OMG this is going to be like that song!" I love how you mixed the lyrics with life to make it unique. So it's like you did the song, but it's yours. I've never though of an idea like this!
over 4 years ago Katelyn Martin said:
I really like this! This is really good! Very nice detail!
over 4 years ago Haley Forte said:
This has a nice concept, but you could definitely go into more description to help your story a long- and give the readers a little more emotional attachment to the MC and her troubles. Alas, contests and their word limits! But this is a nice little piece regardless!
over 4 years ago Megan said:
This was (again) really good for being so short. I wish that it was a little bit more descriptive though, I think that would really bring this to life. Great job!!!
over 4 years ago Cassia Black said:
I'm impressed - typically I don't like song-based stories. Very simple; it speaks to the heart of us, and leaves behind enough interpretation that it could apply to nearly everyone. I actually liked the embedded song lyrics - the simple way of connecting to your inspirationkept the whole thing constant. Now, I know you don't have much room for detail, but I WOULD like to see a bit more pathos in there. Happy Writing!
over 4 years ago Jessica Skrobarczyk said:
This is pretty good, considering you have a 150 word limit. However, even though your story is inspired by the song, it might have been more useful to you if you left the actually lyrics out and made it all your original writing, you know? That way we could get more back story. When you only have 150 words, every word you write should have as much of an impact as possible. Other wise, good for a flash fiction story! You do get some plot points in there, which is hard to do in such few words.