He Who Will Not Be Helped

He Who Will Not Be Helped

2 chapters / 539 words

Approximately 3 minutes to read

Description:

First this poem talks about how a person fights through darkness every single day, and rarely receives help until he begs for it. Then, it continues to talk about how this is thoroughly related to how a bully victim's day is.
No, I'm not a bully victim, but I think this issue should be brought up.

Comments(8)

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almost 5 years ago Maya said:

This was amazing. I really liked it.

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almost 5 years ago Anica Ivanitz said:

This is very true! It was really, really good.

Lottie jackson b&w

almost 5 years ago Charlotte Jackson said:

That was VERY!!!! GOOD!!!!!

Piv

almost 5 years ago Elizabeth said:

Very interesting... I liked it a lot! This is full of powerful words, and the overall message is great. Excellent work :)

~Aspen

Reviews(3)

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almost 5 years ago Claire Fishman said:

This is a really awesome piece but I think there IS something missing. If I were you I'd take out the third person and make it in his/her viewpoint. A "show not tell" sorta thing. I also think that after what this kid has gone through he/she is either very emotionally hollowed out or very strong. Or both. That's just how I see it. You also had a more positive voice at the end talking about negative things, and I think you can make it more simple and more powerful. It's up to you. Great poem otherwise -C

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almost 5 years ago Noire Rouge said:

I liked the message in both of your poems. In the first one though, I found two instances where the poem didn't rhyme. I assume you wanted it to flow, so that's why I'm pointing it out. In the second, I could sense the emotion, but the poem felt incomplete to me somehow. Maybe you could add a few more descriptive lines about how he/she felt?