The Gallery

The Gallery

1 chapter / 1155 words

Approximately 6 minutes to read

Description:

For the "Catherine Short-Story Contest" Hearts are greatly appreciated! Forbidden love. A dark secret. And bright blue eyes. Cover by me!!

Comments(59)

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over 4 years ago Rose said:

This is lovely, especially the ending. I thought it was so sweet when she compared his eyes to art. Great job!

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over 4 years ago Lyssa Silver said:

That was beautiful, and probably my favorite piece you have written! Great!

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over 4 years ago Wendy Burt-Thomas said:

Hearted. Thanks for offering to swap with "The Devil's Hat Trick."

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over 4 years ago Shelly said:

Love it! :) Great ending paragraph!

Reviews(7)

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over 4 years ago Samantha Salazar said:

For the swap! I read this and it was a really enjoyable piece. I liked the comment about rainy cities because I used to live in Seattle, the city of rain! Made me smile. :) One thing to work on is the punctuation when using dialogue. In some points of your story, you wouldn't have punctuation in the character's dialoge at all, and sometimes they were outside of the quotations. Correct punctuation looks very professional and would take this contest entry over the top.

That's my main critique. Good luck in the contest :)

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over 4 years ago Jenni said:

I really liked this story, and honestly, I couldn't find much wrong with it. The plot is very cute and original - I like how you've reversed the gender roles - and you have a very nice, flowing writing style.

The only thing I would say about this is that you need to expand your characters a little bit. I know you had a word limit, but once the competition is over, you should flesh out the story. Why is Dante's father so protective of Dante? What is Dante like - funny? Romantic? Why hasn't Dante left his father's care already? Adding some extra dialogue between the character's to explain these points (or any other you can think of) would make this story ten times better.

Other than that, I can't see anything worth noting. Thank you again for the cover!