The Last of Me

The Last of Me

3 chapters / 1457 words

Approximately 7 minutes to read

Description:

Losing a mother can be like losing everything. But, for Florence, the most surprising and terrible parts about her mother's passing are the things she gains. A bookish friend, and a menacing enemy, and a mysterious power are among them. Florence wants none of it. Darkness and magic are messy and emotional and that's simply not her style. Whether or not she she is prepared, Florence is now entrusted the burden that is her mother's Last.

Comments(3)

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almost 5 years ago Hannah Wolfram said:

What you have so far is an intriguing beginning, and certainly makes me want to just keep on reading, even though I don't have the early access code, haha. ;o

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almost 5 years ago Keira said:

This was intriguing. I liked the format of a letter, but I wished there was some kind of opening, because it felt like you just jumped into the letter. Here are some grammar suggestions:

"world I have left behind"

"once I am gone, and I"

"Its impartiality"

That's it! I thought it was great and it seemed really interesting because we didn't know exactly what was going on!

Keira

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almost 5 years ago Caroline Hart said:

I really enjoyed this. I liked your unique take on the prompt. Good luck in the contest. :-)

Reviews(2)

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almost 5 years ago Lauren said:

This is a swap for "Not a Hero". I really liked this; it was intriguing and really caught my attention. I think you made a couple of grammar errors: "about me (,) Florence…"- I think you should have a comma where I put it in brackets but I think if you read it through you can find them and get rid of them. Over all I liked it, well done!

Birdofparadise-jw

almost 5 years ago Rebecca Ralston said:

Okay, so I'm going to write this as I read it.  That way, you can know the process that goes through my head as a reader.  I've found that extremely helpful.

First sentence is interesting.

I'm curious about the secret.

The introduction of Florence's name was seamless and effective.

"everything(,) and the world"  there should be a comma added.

"about me(,) Florence...". There should be a comma added.

"world I have (leave) behind(,) and you...". Leave should be left, and there should be a comma where the parenthesis are.

"gone(,) and I...". There should be a comma in between the parenthesis.

I like the letter.  It seems heartfelt and hints of mysterious things.

All in all:  I liked it.  It was interesting and well written.