Forgotten

Forgotten

1 chapter / 425 words

Approximately 2 minutes to read

Description:

She woke up on the silver sand without a memory of her past. The world around her was as clouded as her mind and all that was left of her was the sense that she's close to home. The beginning of an epic adventure that's missing pieces are up to you, the reader, to fill.

Comments(44)

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over 4 years ago Sycamore Bramble said:

I love the imagery you built- wings beating, porcelain orb. It gave m this beautiful place to visit.

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over 4 years ago Garima Gupta said:

Love the description and flow of this! It was beautiful! Good luck with the contest!

Birdyme

over 4 years ago Nyani J. said:

Dude, I ADORE your imagery! I felt like I was there, watching. I could see it all so clearly. I have no criticism! I haven't read an entry like this either. Very unique ;3 Keep writing! You are supremely talented.

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over 4 years ago J.A.D. Lumanta said:

Your words are extremely poetic and really beautiful to read. I loved how creative and original you were. I absolutely loved it! I wish you the best in the contest. Bravo! :))))))

Reviews(3)

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over 4 years ago Emily Cates said:

Well, wow. That was not anything that I was expecting. Most of the seventeen magazine competition entries I've read are not nearly the quality of your work. Your descriptions are vivid, the story plot was quite surreal. Simply genius! Just wonderful and spectacular wrapped up in words. I love when you described the houses, the sea, and her hair dripping on the beach, oh and the first couple sentences really enticed me! I hope you make this into a longer story when the contest is over! Good luck! Great job, and write on!

Dany

over 4 years ago A.J. said:

This was a really well written piece, full of amazing imagery. It makes the reader feel like they're actually there. There were a couple grammar things, like 'costal' should be spelled 'coastal," but overall it was very solid.

The one thing I would advise is to read it out loud to yourself. There were a few sentences that I had to read over a couple times to make sure I understood, and in a perfect world you should only have to read a sentence once :)

You're obviously a very talented writer- keep up the good work!