Sleeping with Angels

Sleeping with Angels

6 chapters / 18807 words

Approximately about 2 hours to read

Description:

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST! GOAL OF 300 HEARTS!!! THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME!!!
Madison Collier once led a somewhat normal, safe life until her older brother was tragically killed and her family was ripped apart. Now, struggling to find her place in a hollow, lonely world, Maddy is constantly tempted with the lure of oblivion - of death and the release of all her pent up sorrow. Fate, however, has other things in plan. An unlikely friend appears in the form of Jailyn, a girl who claims to be a Daimon, a guardian to help Maddy through her troubled times and, in reward for her deed, gain entry to another world. But the fiery Jailyn seems to be anything but a helpful, kind mentor. So many things seem to be hopeless in Maddy's life; her parents died inside when her brother died, and her brother's best friend is now hooked on drugs. Jailyn's determined to show Maddy how to hope again, but when Maddy finds out that Jailyn's world is in post-apocalyptic chaos and Maddy is a vital component to a team of rogue rebels planning to overthrow the dictators of the realm, hope seems even more difficult to gain. If Maddy has any chance at life, one thing is certain: her choices will either reign destruction or ignite peace.

Genres:

Writing, Fantasy, Novel

Comments(21)

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over 4 years ago Karen Davies said:

What can I say? WOW! When I first read a book if I'm not 'hooked' by the first chapter I put it down knowing its not for me. This is only the start of your book and I was 'hooked'! You really bring across Maddy's personality and her family's emotions. I can't wait to read more. Well done Destiny! Xxxx

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over 4 years ago Alexis Litke said:

I really liked this! It was really well written, and the characters really made it! Great job!

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over 4 years ago Jennifer Stemmer said:

Awe!!! I loved it! Please read "Glimpse"

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over 4 years ago Arietta Coleman said:

Oh, no he died!

Reviews(2)

Mind bush

over 4 years ago Empath Demon said:

I have mixed feelings about this. While the book/novel/story itself has great appeal, I didn't find myself too intrigued by the main character or her brother in the prologue. The way you described your main character made her seem almost like a Mary-Sue character, which you may want to watch out for. Instead of only focusing on the good aspects of every character, you may want to try to throw in some negative personality traits so that your characters seem more realistic. Your plot idea about the brother dying and there being an empty room could have been made clearer, but the reaction of the family was well-depicted. After reading just the prologue and the first chapter, I am intrigued to read more but I am also wary about the character development because I can see this will be a character-driven story rather than a plot-driven story (and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.) I'm sorry if this review sounds rude, mean, or harsh; I'm trying to give an unbiased and objective view of the story.

As far as mechanics are concerned, your sentence structure and grammar is great. You seem to know the rules of grammar as well as how to spell things. Although sometimes your wording is a bit off, it is your choice to put words in and take them out. This is a very interesting plot that you seem to tell to the best of your ability. Good job!

Think

almost 5 years ago Amaryliss White said:

A few notes on the prologue: You wrote: “Hey, we need to go.” I said., when it should be “Hey, we need to go,” I said. This might be a typo, though, because you correctly use a comma instead of a period later on. Secondly, you say that “I have something you could eat,” Mark grinned. Unless Mark is extremely talented, I don’t think you can grin out words. Sure, you can grin while talking, but you can’t GRIN out words. So therefore, replace that comma with a period. Thirdly, unless I somehow missed it, we don’t find out the main character’s name until later on in the chapter. While that’s not particularly a problem, most people like to be able to identify a person immediately with a name.

Chapter 1: A few paragraphs in, you use “every now and then” twice and both rather close. You have A LOT of thinking in chapter one. It’s not a bad thing, and it really described her feelings well (and was an awful good piece of writing), but as a first chapter, it can be kind of boring to read. Sometimes it can be good to put a small snatch of dialogue into internal dialogue like that, just to give the readers a bit of action.

Chapter 2: I’d cut some of the exposition and get to the action.

Overall thoughts: Your blurb is really interesting, and you write really well, no lies. However, the actual story seems a bit slow. The prologue doesn’t seem to have much to do with the story other than showing who Logan was, and chapter one was mainly moping around. I’d cut some of that exposition out and fill it in later, little things here and there to make a more complete picture than just putting it into all into a few chapters.

I’d also advise working a bit more on your characters. I really had no idea who Maddy and her parents are.

But really, I did enjoy this story. Most of the times I won’t read past the first chapter for swaps, unless they really catch me. And this one obviously did. Good job, and keep on writing!