Not Just a K-Girl [Preview]

Not Just a K-Girl [Preview]

4 chapters / 8696 words

Approximately 43 minutes to read

Description:

Preview of my novel "Not Just a K-Girl".

When Paris decides to go to the New Year’s Reunion party for the Oxfordshire Emerging Artists Competition with her best friend Chloe, she doesn’t realize just how much it could change her life. She’s always been sheltered by her well-meaning parents, but this night, they’ve finally let her have a little independence.

When she’s there, she receives her first New Year’s kiss — from a seemingly perfect guy with a seemingly perfect disposition. What she doesn’t know is that he’s famous, and that he isn’t as flawless as he may seem.

In fact, he’s far from flawless, according to Chloe. Chloe knows him from when she participated in the OEAC 3 years ago. He broke her heart. She got revenge. She says he deserved it. Paris isn’t so sure.

Soon, Paris is forced to make a seemingly impossible choice. Believe Chloe, and risk losing the first chance at romance she’s ever had, or believe Kaden, and risk losing a friend?

It should be a simple choice — friends before boys, every single time. But when your “friend” is unsupportive of your ambitions and too focused on her own dysfunctional relationship to properly spend time with you, is it really?

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Comments(327)

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over 2 years ago Kacie McClure said:

So I love your writings, and you're super talented! I wanted to say that I very much appreciate, in Chapter 6, the "I think my dad was secretly Mormon" thing. It made me laugh :)

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about 3 years ago C.R. Chamberlain said:

Hehe. Love the ending. :)

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over 3 years ago Aurora Sanders said:

Aerin: ...she's being so STUPID. I like how you're involving her parents more. and the balance you're pulling between Kaden vs "too strict parents" ( who aren't THAT bad. SHE SNUCK OUT W/ A GUY. AND LIED ABOUT IT. THAT IS TEXTBOOK REBELLION. AND ACTIVATING THE TRACKING ON THE PHONE IN RESPONSE IS REALLY REASONABLE.) Any one with sense is going to see, "hello, stupid. A guy that wants you to pick between him and your parents is BAD NEWS" but the romantic infatuated ones are gonna be, "awwww, so sweet. he wants to be with her, and running away for 3 weeks is a perfect way to establish independence!"

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over 3 years ago C.R. Chamberlain said:

Paris. I have no words.

Reviews(39)

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over 3 years ago Aurora Sanders said:

Yuffie's review from Hexbound: Free read!

Like most, I'm not a fan of opening with dialogue unless it's some outrageously fascinating and thought-provoking statement, which "He has to get second place. It would be awful if he got first!" is not.

Next paragraph isn't too gripping either. I don't care for the details about the color of the blanket or what her best friend's hair looks like. I want to know about the protagonist.

It starts picking up a little from the 3rd and fourth chapters, though. I'm curious about the guy who beat out Chloe, since he seems like he'll be a major character.

Okay, this is quite an intriguing opening! Very different choosing to focus on some guy who just lost a singing contest, and us wanting him to lose because he beat out the protagonist's best friend. So it's just the opening few lines that need to be a little stronger. Maybe cut them and start closer to the 3rd paragraph.

The 2nd-last paragraph is confusing. So it seems like Chloe fell for this guy, who beat her out, so now she hates him and want to see him lose? Can you make these ideas a little clearer, because I'm not 100% sure what's going on. Mostly this line: "It was a miracle that he got one girl for him, and practically impossible that he had two fall for him." I think it's supposed to mean something like "how the hell did he get one girl to fall for him, let alone two?"

Overall, interesting start to the story, just make sure you're explaining everything in as few words as possible. Be succint, because I think my confusion stemmed from the wordy sentences. Also, I didn't mention this before, but there was a similar problem with the 2nd paragraph that explained about him being Chloe's ex. something like:

"She glared at her "ex"--I still wasn't sold that they'd even been together--who stood on the stage, hands loosely in his pockets, shoulders relaxed. His chin tilted up as he surveyed the crowd, a smug smile playing on his lips. In his eyes, he'd already won. But then his traveling gaze halted on a short brunette standing next to him, and his smile faltered. *name of girl*, his new girlfriend--the bitch he dumped Chloe for." or whatever the circumstance of their breakup was. And this is totally in my writing style, so write it however you feel comfortable. Just try to break things into smaller chunks of ideas so we can digest them easier.

Hope this helps! Sounds like a cool story, overall. :)

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over 3 years ago Amethyst Rising said:

I read the prologue and first two chapters. It was interesting but I don't know the characters seemed a little dry & two dimensional. And the first chapter had A LOT of dialogue, the conversation was interesting but it was a lot.