Not As Everything Seems (old version)

Not As Everything Seems (old version)

33 chapters / 51458 words

Approximately about 4 hours to read

Description:

Giovinai though his life was fine enough just the way it was. He really didn't need to do anything crazy. Annoyed that he was requested to meet the king when it was the middle of the night, he did not realize the full extent of what King Vias of Lucero was asking until much later... he was to be a spy. From cursed rivers to forest that contained more than trees and ignorant allies that don't know a friend when they see one, Giovinai can't really find anything that made him enjoy the trip to Nraav. It really didn't help that he was stuck with the most annoying Luceran messenger, a healer from Slarfaze, a strange spy teacher girl, an minstrel, an ex-champion, and an Alarretan soldier. If only King Vias would have chosen someone else and not him, especially not him. But as the journey started to get more dangerous and irritating, Giovinai started to find out what he had been looking for the whole time, a place to belong. Still, that alone is not enough to stop the insane king of Nraav who is determent to take over the world with his equally crazy partners. And the Nraavan king is started to look farther than his own nose, to the countries Lucero once called allies. Perhaps Giovinai has to do more than find out the plans of the enemy but to stop the war before it has even begun.

Okay, if you're doing this for a swap, you don't have to read the whole thing (unless you want to, of course).
Once you finish reading as much as you want, please say who is your favorite character and/or part of it so far.
I would really like it if you say what I should add/change to make it better (and please don't say that the names are impossible to pronounce or that there are too many).
Thanks and happy reading!
cover from heromachine.com

Genres:

Action, Adventure, Novel

Comments(29)

Angst

over 4 years ago Marti said:

Okay, I read up through chapter two. It's an intriguing concept but I think ch. 2 threw me off because it was about donuts ^~^

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over 4 years ago Twilight Stevens said:

wow, very unique story and amazingly written!

Ry

over 4 years ago Ryanne Kap said:

This is so imaginative! The different names and kingdoms are very well done and give this story a unique atmosphere. Hwaet is my favourite character, he's pretty funny :) I'd suggest using more interesting adjectives and verbs.

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over 4 years ago Georgia Cline said:

This is well done! I read through chapter five. On the contrary, I really like all the different names, they give structure to the story. My favorite character so far, I think, is Wilof, and favorite part is when Giovinai reads the King's Birthday List. So funny! All in all, great work!

Reviews(3)

Gc

over 3 years ago G.C. Letniem said:

Good Job Lucero. It has come along way since your first draft that I got to read. (Even though it was like... 2 chapters then.) Very good job. The draft that I read was hard to figure out what would happen. I am glad I predicted wrong! My draft that you read has developed since then... and now James Lester and I have decided after reading yours to publish ours up. Come enjoy it considering you helped us rethink this idea. (The book is coming 3.1.14 Enjoy it by going to my page tomorrow)

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over 4 years ago s.oppenheim said:

through chap. 3

I liked it.

Here are some things i found:

In the prologue, second sentence i think u should add in 'with desire' to make the legend idea clearer. i was hung up on the previous sentence of his happiness at being the new king so it took me a minute to figure it out. unless i am just slow today, which is a possibility. : )

'suddenly'-- i think you should cut it.

i loved the general and his attitude. (i basically like any character with attitude.)

in Calling of the Night chapter the second sentence needs to cleaned up a bit.

overall:

cool plot

interesting story

keep writing!