Trouble

Trouble

1 chapter / 615 words

Approximately 3 minutes to read

Description:

*RequiemContest* doesn't believe in love at first sight until she meets Raiden

Comments(26)

Hippie kelly

almost 5 years ago Kelly Coy said:

Oh this was heart wrenching! It definitely put a lump in my throat. Beautiful story.

Writer's_block

almost 5 years ago Sonty V. said:

Aww, that was so sad! :( Well written and I didn't expect the ending! (but I liked it ^^) There were some grammatical errors, but since it's in the requiem contest I don't think you can change anything. Still, the story was good so the grammar shouldn't be too big of a problem :D Keep writing~ sonty

Patty_pimperstin_profile_pic_zps402e3038[1]

almost 5 years ago Patty Pimperstin said:

Hearted yours! & best of luck in your contest! If you want to swap, please check out "The Springtime Sacrifice" on my page & heart it if you like it! :)

101_1970

almost 5 years ago Jennifer said:

Jessica is right--Poor guy! So tragically but well written. Keep up the good work!:)~Jen P>S If you get the chance (only if you haven't read it yet) would you mind reading "Little Angels?" It's about 2 minutes long. Thanks!

Reviews(1)

Image

almost 5 years ago Kas O said:

I really liked thes story, I think left-at-graveyard stories that are actually letters) are always really good. Although I noticed a few mistakes, like in paragraph 2 you have "poring" instead of "pouring". There were also a few times in which you capitalized things and I'm not sure as too why. Like when she described his smell. "Oranges" and "sage" was capitalized. Then I noticed one or two missing periods and commas. Then, lastly, when Raiden said his name was Raiden, the character was saying something about the name fitting nicely, and I thought she meant her name was Raiden and she still wasn't sure of her name, but Raiden seemed right. It wasn't until I read a bit further I realized that the guy's name was Raiden.