1 chapter / 498 words

Approximately 2 minutes to read


“Because, no matter how anyone else saw it, this presumed “romance” was, in and of itself, a game.” Part of my "Black Rose" project. ~~~ In all honesty, I don't usually write sexy stuff. This - while it doesn't actually have sex in it - is probably the closest I'll ever dare to get to sex as it does explore the thoughts of someone having an erotic moment. It's intentionally written in the style of 19th century serials, so if you're wondering why I'm doing more telling than showing... And, yes. This is about two fully grown men. I would have thought the names "Blake" and "Landon" were enough of a giveaway.



8 months ago Alecia Walls said:

Wow, it is a very great story good job


over 4 years ago Pretty Flower said:

Amazing story!!!


almost 5 years ago Trail of Glitter said:



almost 5 years ago Sara NS Francis said:

Details make for very good bedroom scenes, but adding too many take away from movments and emotions. Well done on finding a balance.


Dee jay

almost 5 years ago D.J. Fletcher said:

I absolutely adored this. Your use of imagery is flawless and you've painted a scene so beautifully that I had no trouble visualizing it.

I laughed a bit at the comments here... I'm a bad person. At first I thought you might be using Blake for a girl (Blake Lively does exist), but you clearly mentioned that they're both men. And Blake is mostly used as a boy's name. So... I don't understand where the confusion was here.

I want to see this expanded upon, I feel like it could get really interesting in how the "relationship" functions and such. Well done!


almost 5 years ago Lillith Biquist said:

I really liked it. :)

I almost think that the people who commented didn't read it - or they were not paying attention. You made it pretty clear that the two are men. I, at least, have never met a woman going by the name of "Landon" or "Blake", and I remember you writing "both men" a few times in it.

You used a lot of imagery (the chessboard, the dance, the dolls, you know), but it wasn't CONFUSING. It was background, and that is something rarely found in a word-limit story. You did use a couple of big words, but with a title like "Apotheosis" people should expect a large vocabulary.

I didn't spot any grammatical errors, so kudos to you on that.

But... it seems like you have not gotten any feedback in a while. Did you give up? You should ask as many people as you can to read your story, if you ever want it to get in the top five.

Very poetically written, good luck in the contest!