Before

Before

7 chapters / 7851 words

Approximately 39 minutes to read

Description:

Mae Caviness is together with the love of her life, Drew. But there's always a shadow wavering over the couple. It's Cassie, Mae's best friend since forever. The girl who also loved Drew. The girl who's comatose now. The girl who always was who Mae couldn't be. And now that Cassie's in hospital, Mae starts to see who she could have been without her. And what it would be like if she hadn't done something terribly wrong.

Genres:

Writing, Drama, Novel

Comments(12)

Screen shot 2014-06-10 at 3.54.33 pm

over 4 years ago S. L. Taylor said:

Wow Melli, 28 likes!!!

Violets!

over 4 years ago writersblock101 said:

This is really good! You convey the emotion really well, and have great description. You may want to separate a few if your larger paragraphs though-it just makes it easier to read, but it's not a big deal! :)

Flower

over 4 years ago X said:

Awesome piece, really enjoyed reading this :) Mind checking out my story "57 BLOCKS" as well? Thanks in advance and best wishes xoxo

Fullsizerender

over 4 years ago Jori Kellow said:

Wow. This is awesome.

Reviews(5)

Fotoflexer_animation

over 4 years ago FlamingUnicornOfDeath>:D said:

Wow, your descriptions are STUNNING.

Every action is depicted so well and the emotions are great. I really have nothing against this. This was written like a pro. Great job! I wish I can say more for a review, but this is just freakin amazin and there is really nothing wrong.

11579983_4067318723600_177357245_n

over 4 years ago Linn Kirchhoff said:

This is a great concept that was really well written. I love your small descriptions and moments, the way Drew says things with deep meaning in a simple, everyday way, the way the MC feels and doesn't care about her tongue burning from the hot coffee. It really lets the reader learn about their depth and who they are without flat out saying it. I really enjoyed this aspect of your writing, it was so much more engaging than just spelling it all out in plain terms.

There were punctuation errors especially in reguards to quotes. The commas go inside the quotes and if there's a ? or a ! then you don't need a comma. Another person went over it in more depth so I won't repeat it.

It needs a quick edit, but that can be done. As for the story, I really liked the moral conflict. Her friend is in a coma it seems, so she didn't really steal the boyfriend, and she had wanted him first but realized they didn't "fit" as well as her lovely bff would have. So in a way I felt like it was fair game, but at the same time I feel compassion for her situation and I can see how that would be painful. It's a wonderful situation that is really a great direction for the story. As the story went along I love how everything else got woven into the framework for this main plot.

Great work, I really love this story!