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Approximately 2 minutes to read
about 4 years ago Laura Dirk said:
I also feel as if books are portals to different worlds. Especially if the author is a good author and you yourself are a good reader.
about 4 years ago Rachael Thompson said:
Very different from the others I've read for this contest, but I like it!
about 4 years ago T.C.E. said:
Great idea, just break up your paragraphs a little and you should be good!
about 4 years ago Mojodaisy47 said:
I really liked this idea. I haven't read anything else like that. Just make sure to show the reader what is going on with details instead of just telling them. Good job and good luck!
about 4 years ago Lacey Smetzer said:
"This man was introverted;" I might stress that and put "very introverted".
"He has been stuck in this in between state" Change to "inbetween"
"An idea popped into his head, 'What if I could find a book to set me free of this curse." You actually typo'd and didn't put a closing quotation mark at the end of the thought, but I thought it'd be better if you changed tenses, took out the quotation mark altogether, and replaced 'I' for 'he' and 'me' for 'him'. I also think the word "popped" kind of ruins the feel of the story and perhaps "came" would be a better choice.
Other than those few things I thought it was a good story concept and had a good atmosphere.
about 4 years ago Tina said:
Huh...I really like this concept. One suggestion I have is to correct some of the punctuation: to leave his knowledge of life forever, was it even possible? Otherwise, the story was very original and I like it a lot. (Swap for Lost Then Found)