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Approximately 7 minutes to read
Love is dangerous. **I do not own the cover picture.** In the future, I might build on this.
over 2 years ago Mars said:
There was only two problems I noticed with this--'mouthes' instead of 'mouths,' and there needed to be a comma after the 'So' in one of Oliver's lines.
Other than that, this was a fabulous piece! I knew from the start she was a robot (from that review over there), but it was interesting to see how it folded out. I wondered how the father could make her so life-like, though.
I thought the pacing was great, and the story sort of heart-breaking. It'd be interesting to see where this goes!
about 4 years ago FlamingUnicornOfDeath>:D said:
Intersting twist! Great job!
about 4 years ago Adria Orenstein said:
Great story, nice details!
about 4 years ago Patty Pimperstin said:
Hearted yours! & best of luck in your contest! If you want to swap, please check out "The Springtime Sacrifice" on my page & heart it if you like it! :)
over 2 years ago Tibby Kay said:
Wow. I never would have guessed that ending.
Your descriptions were fluid and beautiful, the words themselves seemed to be in time with the age. I noticed no obvious mistakes, other than the kissing. I'm not quite sure about that era, but I think it was frowned upon then. Your story was very enticing, I was immediately drawn in from the first few words.
The ending took me so by surprised, I was really rooting for her. Darn. If you ever do extend this, please do let me know, I would be very excited to read more of this amazing idea. Great job(:
about 4 years ago Alexandra Perchanidou said:
She is a robot!? Wow so mysterious with background the London (i would guess 18-19 century) So amazing, touching and sad; she will never be with him. "Love is dangerous" the best sentence!
Good luck in the contest!!