Don't Save My Life(Finished Draft!)

Don't Save My Life(Finished Draft!)

31 chapters / 48923 words

Approximately about 4 hours to read

Description:

In need of reviews and critiques for the next draft! Thanks
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Summary:
He shouldn't have saved her, he didn't have to. Or at least, that’s what everyone’s told him. To be honest, Emmett doesn't know what to think. The amnesia took every shred of recollection of that tragic day. All he wants is to be able to remember. The only problem with that is he was one of the only two survivors. And according to everyone else, the other survivor, Willa Haldon may as well have died too.

Willa wants nothing more to do with her life in her secluded South Carolina town. She’d give anything to get far away and start new, where she isn't known as the daughter of a killer. But Emmett won’t let her do this, not as long as he is searching for his own closure. Soon the two discover that they have more to fear than the past catching up. Now they have to fight the biggest threat in their lives, falling in love with each other.
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Rated PG-13. Don't worry, there's no sex or anything too hard core so if you're 13 and up I think you can totally read this comfortably. Just beware, there is drug suggestion and a few swear words when necessary.
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here's a wonderful song to go with the book. Save Me From Myself By Christina Aguilera https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GNwcqr7TzQ

Genres:

Drama, Romance, Novel

Comments(51)

Xoctdee

over 3 years ago Erika Tappy said:

I know you told me to read the first two chapters only but it was so difficult for me to stop! Once I'm done typing out this comment, I'm definitely going to be reading more. Your first paragraph was an excellent hook and it really grabbed my attention. I was so curious to know about those two people. I did see that you missed out on a couple of commas at some places so you might want to go through it once.

The more major error I found was the dual perspective. Writing a dual perspective first person is very difficult and often the characters sound the exact same. I hate to say this, but it was the case in your story. When I read the second chapter, I first thought it was Wila telling us about her twin brother. When I realized that it was a guy, I thought I had misread the first chapter and he was the one who kissed the other popular guy. Confusing, right? That was how I felt when I read those two chapters. You need to give them a unique voice as it's very confusing to differentiate between them.

Overall, it was a very interesting story and I'm going to continue reading it further. But you really need to work on giving them unique voices if you want your story to be even better. Keep writing! :)

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over 3 years ago Sammi L. said:

So far, I've read the first few chapters and I really like it! You started the story really well, mentioning a bombing, which kind of made me want to know more. I like your writing style a lot. You can really sense the emotion from both characters. Your plot is fascinating. I spotted a few errors in chapter two (I.e. 'sense' was 'since' and 'extinct' was 'instinct'), but since this is a draft, it's okay. Overall, great job!

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over 3 years ago Jocelyn Hunt said:

I love how your first paragraph is very intriguing as a hook. I immediately was curious why the “East Mall Bombing” happened! Your description is very well established, especially in paragraph 2. The similes and imagery were very well written! Only a few things I noticed: “When I was satisfied and positive….the entire year [,] I dropped my…” (should be a comma there) “I opened the tin door [,] ignoring…” “When I grabbed….needed [,] I closed…” I felt like I was reading an actual book that should be at a bookstore like BAM or BN! I only read the first 2 chapters, but you’re really an amazing writer and I don’t say that much…I’ll definitely be back for more!

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almost 4 years ago Serena Grace said:

So I finally finished reading the whole story and as much as I absolutely despise happy endings, I have to say, the turmoil you put Emmet and Willa through makes it worth while. The one thing that pops out to me the most (other than grammatical errors that could really be fixed) is that I think in chapter 26, or around there, Emmet has the family talk y'know and I really really wanted to see what happened there, but you didn't write that, so yeah. I loved this, really great job!!!

Reviews(5)

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almost 4 years ago Serena Grace said:

Hey, I looooooove the story you've portrayed, I've already gotten to chapter 20, and I can't wait to read more!

There's a bit of an issue I think with the tense you're using. Well...tenses. For example, "Thinking this I pulled..." since thinking and pulled are used in two different tenses, and it might just be me, but I think that's wrong. Personally I'd stick to present tense only, but you obviously have a choice. S

Since this is a first draft of course there are a lot of grammatical errors, but don't stress about them a lot right now. (for example you spell since as sense and losing as loosing)

Can't wait to read more!!

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over 4 years ago Ryan Tyler Smith said:

I am trying to work on my own novel and I just can't seem to take my eyes away from yours. It is holding me for captive and not taking any ransom! Your writing style is pristine, your detail is stainless. I have to continue reading!