Elements

Elements

7 chapters / 1986 words

Approximately 10 minutes to read

Description:

{CPR'S NEXT FANTASY WRITER}
You are seventeen years old. Your father is dead. You can throw people into walls without touching them. The boy you hate could set the world on fire without matches or a lighter. Someone's out to kill the both of you. And no one can know that you are always seconds away from self-destruction.

A collection of writings having to do with my unfinished, barely started novel. Elements is actually the series title, but right now I'm using it as a working title. Copyright 2013.

Comments(18)

20151210_184803

about 4 years ago Tyanna J Snider said:

Huh.....interesting..... I think I'd be lest confused about the actual story when I read the whole thing BUT your characters are very realistic and very well developed. I loved Felix!! He was funny! :)

Cranes

about 4 years ago - elle - said:

Oh, my. Last time I read this, you only had the first cc up. Now, oh. Oh, my. I seriously got shivers reading some parts of this, hence my pressing of the shiver button, lmao. And the wow button, well. I hope you know why I clicked that :D It was a very good reason ;) Anyways, love it. Felix was just adorable and hot how he taught Astra how to kiss and when he was like, "Will it help if I take off my shirt?". I thought about Puck saying that, and I died. Died. Like, no longer breathing. No thoughts. Yeah. And Astra is awesome. Legit :3 When she went off on a rampage about the guys trying not to get her to fight because she was a girl, I was like YOU GO, GIRL! SHOW THEM SEXIST LITTLE BISHES! SHOW THEEMM! YEAHH! KICK SOME ASS! KILL SOME ASS! AND SMILE WHILE AT IT! lol Sadists ftw. :3 Ttylz, Queenie. We haven't talked in forever xD

Ringlets

over 4 years ago Sarah Ashlee said:

I love cc2! It was just so cute, it made me happy and giggly inside!

Image

over 4 years ago Rob said:

Wow, even in FPOV, it is very realistic and detailed. I'm impressed!

Reviews(5)

Mua

about 4 years ago Hardcore Angel<3 said:

This seems suupperr interesting. I can't wait to see it all put together in a book. The characters are well developed and intriguing, and I love hearing what Astra has to say and how she feels. There is a lot of detail and it really helped me connect with the situation, character, and idea. The first thing I have to say is this: I understand cussing can build a character and add intensity, but there seems to be too much.(Basically, what Harmonye is saying. I completely agree with her.) Secondly, in the oc2, the 5th paragraph is really long and hard to follow. I would split it into sentences to allow for a better flow and easier comprehension. Lastly, again, I can't wait to see this all into one book.

Girl with afro2

about 4 years ago Harmonye' said:

Oh my goodness I need more. Ok, so obviously I love your writing style. Your voice as a writer is intense but emotional. This story had me on the edge of my seat.

I would suggest a bit more to the introduction. I know most people were probably hooked right off the bat, but it kind of took me a while. I think it was just because I wasn't very interested.

See I've read books like this--with people who have elemental powers and such--so I only hope you keep this original. I absolutely detest rereading books with the same plotline, you know?

Also, I understand cussing, (or cursing if you prefer) but I think you could tone it down just an inch. Cussing ads intensity and seriousness to a story and from what I read, that's what you're going for. But it can also shy away readers, who don't exactly like it. So you can keep some in there, but I would take away just a bit.

Otherwise, I really liked the switching back and forth through scenes and events. I'm instantly connected with Astra and what is going down. Oh, and just one more thing: I was a tiny bit confused on the transitions between each chapter and tenses.

Happy Writing!

-Harmonye'