The Day I Met Myself

The Day I Met Myself

8 chapters / 5604 words

Approximately 28 minutes to read

Description:

I never did believe in ghosts, and I said I never would, but it seems I was going to prove myself wrong because there I was in ghost form. It's not possible right? I'm alive and breathing, yet there I am, another me. No, I'm not looking into a mirror. I'm out here on 42nd Street with nobody else around, just me, myself and I...literally.
*Dedicated to Aliā™„*

Comments(12)

I love books!

about 5 years ago Mwape lillian Chibuye said:

I wasn't sure what to expect; It was a good read.[smile] -Mwape

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over 5 years ago Kimmie said:

This is a really goo story... I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Fox

about 6 years ago Destiny Howell said:

I really like the concept that the narrarating but some of the dialogue seems off.Like, not quite how real people speak. Work on that and you'll really have something here.

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about 6 years ago Sarah Lambert said:

I really like it! The plot is quite intriging! I'd love to read more of this!

Reviews(2)

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over 6 years ago Ali Renee said:

Okay, I'm going to write a review as I go, so if it seems a bit scatterbrained that would be why. The stuff in parenthesis is the stuff that I think should be changed, and the sentence after is what it should be changed to. I'm no expert, though, so just do what you want with this. And this might be a bit in depth, so bear with me.

Prologue: I always said I didn't believe in ghosts, but what if the ghost was you(.) The period should be changed to a question mark.

Well()let me explain it a bit more. When addressing the reader, put a comma after the intro. Not sure if that is the correct term, but yeah, there needs to be a comma after well.

...a cloud nine daze is splashed across your face(. When) suddenly you know you're being watched. I'd change this so the sentences are combined. ...a cloud nine daze is splashed across your face, when suddenly you know you're being watched.

...but it never makes it past your trembling lips because there, standing not two feet from your own collapsing body *(is yourself), perfectly calm and smiling like you know something you don't. I think the comma should go in front of "is yourself" again, these are just my suggestions, but I think that would be best.

But that doesn't make sense does it? Because she is you and you are her. Yet there she is standing before you smiling that superior smile. I think you should try to combine these three sentences. It would make more sense, and would flow better, in my opinion.

I'm Insane:

I am here to help you find yourself and who better to teach you about yourself (then) you. First off, then should be than, I think.

"I was six, I didn't know what I (want)." Want should be wanted. This was in the past, so it should be past tense.

You need adventure, Amelia() You should put a comma after Amelia.

...the world()but I got up and... Comma before but, I think.

Adventure 2:

When I was born, I didn't cry. The doctors don't know why, but ever since then, I've only cried once. The reason I cried was because the only pet I've ever had 'died' or so my parents told me. To me, this whole thing seems a bit awkward. Well, not the first sentence, but the second. Maybe make it a little less "in your face" if you know what I mean?

I never understood them when they spoke in what my grandma (use) to call 'lawyer talk.' Should be used.

The shock that registered on my parents face(,) kept me going. No comma, I believe.

"I've worked (a)hard all year long..." I bet this was just a typo but I thought I'd point it out to you- I'm quite certain you meant "hard".

"But Mum, isn't that why you taught me at an early age not to become too attached to anything(.) Question mark at the end.

...had just lived scribbled across the pages and (bellow) it Adventure 2... Spelled "below" again, I'm sure it was just a typo.

...(you're) second adventure will take you to Sligeach,... your, not you're

Okay, now I think I'm done. These are just suggestions. I really liked your story. Amelia had a great voice, and this concept is wonderful. Keep writing, and if you have any questions about this review leave me a comment. Keep writing!

White rose

over 6 years ago Amy Grace Pointer said:

Its a really cool idea, and well written, you have created a fun, quirky voice for your main character, and your introduction really drew me into the story. Sadly its not prfect, but then what is? there seemed to be some confusion between first and third person in there that made it somewhat confusing, or maybe I'm just confusing myself, I'm not sure now -.- Anyway, its good, and I would like to read more :)