Square One

Square One

4 chapters / 3479 words

Approximately 17 minutes to read

Description:

Emmy has escaped and is now accused of murder in a kingdom of an unknown land. Somehow, she is in favor of the king, Thyroh, and was rescued from going to prison...again. Convincing the King to let her go, she is accompanied by three people, and one of them is the King's own son, Stephen.

Stephen doesn't trust Emmy and thinks she has something up her sleeve. Not only did she claim to be the princess of Perloin, but also showed herself as a strong fighter. No princess can do that! She even knocked him out!

Join these two royals and a couple others on this journey as Emmy decides to fulfill her father's dream: to travel the entire country of Yanma; but with obstacles in the way, will she make it? Or will she have to start over at square one and marry Jules like she was suppose to??

Genres:

Adventure, Romance, Novel

Comments(12)

The vampire diaries

almost 4 years ago Shammi said:

This is amazing and magical!! I loved it! And if possible do try to read some of my writings as well. Thank you (:

Blackbirds

over 4 years ago Heidi L. said:

I read the first chapter, and it was very intriguing. You jumped into the plot right away, didn't you? ;) I'm hoping for more explaining later on about Fiona and the prince. Anyway, great job!

Toxicsauna

over 4 years ago Alison D said:

You used "filled" twice in one sentence.

I am not particularly fond of the plot, but it is well written nonetheless.

Swap complete.

14

almost 5 years ago Rayne said:

Hey, I read the prologue and part of the first chapter. It's off to a good start, I like it :) Keep writing on and never give up!

Stay classy,

Rayne

Reviews(2)

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over 4 years ago sydthekid said:

Here we go! Hope this is helpful. Fixing these should help polish up the piece. This is the prologue, which is as far as I read, but I can read and critique more if you'd like! “Chatters and laughter among the royals as they enjoyed themselves with a glass of fine wine” should be more like “Chatters and laughter echoed among the royals as they enjoyed themselves with fine wine.”

“Girls giggled as they spotted the prince, who was soon to be engaged, smiled at them and slightly waved,” should be either “Girls giggled as they saw the prince, who was soon to be engaged, smile at them and slightly wave” or “Girls giggled as the prince, who was soon to be engaged, smiled at them and slightly waved.” It’s also a little unclear what girls are being talked about here? But I’ll leave that up to you 

“He was known as the lady killer and his reputation was known for sleeping with…” should be “He was known as ‘The Lady Killer’, and he was known for sleeping with…”

“His charms though” should be “His charms, though,”

“…appeared the princess” should be “…the princess appeared.”

“The maid was in shock as the sight of..” should be “The maid was in shock, as the sight of…”

“…but couldn’t as she fainted…” should be “…but couldn’t, as she fainted…”

“’Come, Emmy.’ the princess’s cousin…” should be “’Come, Emmy.’ The princess’s cousin…” (capitalization)

“He fell to the ground as his vision blur” should be “He fell to the ground as his vision blurred”.

“…as she struck the slave, who gave her the gold, to death” should be “…as she struck the slave who had given her the gold to death”

“’This is merely enough of what you offered, Prince Jules.’ she growled as she made his appearance” should be “’This is merely enough of what you offered, Prince Jules,’ she growled, as she made his appearance” (also this sentence doesn’t make a ton of sense to me? Did you mean “this is hardly what you offered’?)

The h after “You will never see your gold again” should be capitalized.

Prof

almost 5 years ago Lily Chen said:

I only read the first chapter, but you've definitely got a great start! The descriptions you used really captured the scene and I felt like I was there myself. I loved how you made Prince Jules a stereotypical prince and Princess Emerald a princess with a desire to travel. Emmy seems so much more three-dimensional than your typical princess, and you wrote her well. Great job, and I definitely look forward to reading more of your work!