That One Girl From High School

That One Girl From High School

1 chapter / 690 words

Approximately 3 minutes to read

Description:

For the Eleanor & Park contest.

Comments(2)

Think

almost 5 years ago Amaryliss White said:

I really enjoyed this. It was a simple, relateable idea, and your writing is easy to read. Great job! :)

Andreawolfie2

almost 5 years ago AndreaTheWolfie said:

I like the idea that you're trying to convey here, but I recommend breaking up the massive chunks of paragraphs. It makes readers want to skip;) Also, you have a couple comma errors. Fixing this is easy enough, it often helps me when I read it out loud, and pause where you have commas. If it sounds awkard, you know you can take the comma out, or if it's a run-on you can put one in or start a new sentence. Hope this helps!

Reviews(1)

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over 4 years ago Cait Cher said:

There are not a lot of works in second person that are brilliant, but this is one of that's the opposite. I like the emotion that you put into this. I definitely felt it. It's adorable and beautiful.