Brandon's Story

Brandon's Story

9 chapters / 10362 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read

Genres:

Drama, Romance, Novel

Comments(50)

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about 2 years ago Eira J. Skye said:

Loved This One! It was just amazing the way you describe romance here.

Images (3)

over 4 years ago Rose Cherie said:

This needs to be added to ASAP! C'mon, quit leaving me in suspense!

M...

9

over 4 years ago Heather Mullenax said:

Wow! This is so amazing. I would recommend to anyone this story. It's so detailed and AMAZING! I just sigh at Brandon's POV.

Hawkeye

over 4 years ago Abby McGrath said:

I read the first chapter for our swap, and I thought this was awesome! The writing is so clear and fun to read, and the story is really cute! Can't wait to read more!

P.S.- Sorry for the late reply!

Reviews(15)

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over 4 years ago Vanessa Wolf said:

I could tell immediately that you have read a lot of books and there where definitely parts of the story that I liked. However the story over all was stilted and awkward. The characters seemed unrealistic and the story kept on bouncing around. The plot was either poorly thought out or really nonexistent. You also need to work a little more on showing and not telling. You also payed more attention to the sexual aspect of the story and not the emotional connection between the two characters. Also the fact that the girl was 16 and the guy 21 kind of weirded me out. You should also really read through the story and check your grammar I found a lot of mistakes. All this being said I can tell that you have talent and just need some practice. Maybe you should read a little more and pay attention to how the author develops their plot and characters. I wish you the best of luck with your future writing career.

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over 4 years ago Kennedy Olson said:

I only read chapter one due to a time crunch but I plan on reading more later! These are a few grammar errors I found: Whenever they talked(,) it was about their lives..

Then(,) the obvious guy..

And looking at them(,) it wasn't too hard to guess why.

Now, the part with the neighbors, that was odd. It didn't seem very realistic at all. Like why would neighbors sit outside and watch? And isn't it creepy that they all cheered when he kissed her? It didn't make any sense to me. Other than that, it's a really good story. When I have more time, I am going to finish it, but with it being memorial day and I have so many swaps to do, I'll save it for later. Great job though! I look forward to reading more.