You Give Me Butterflies

You Give Me Butterflies

2 chapters / 2823 words

Approximately 14 minutes to read

Description:

OLD VERSION IS COMPLETELY DELETED. I AM RE-WRITING IT. IT'S GOING TO BE 100% DIFFERENT. I APOLOGISE, BUT PREVIOUS VERSION JUST COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER.

________________________________
Daisy had never thought that history would bite her behind like that. What had made her late grandfather make such an important decision for her? Especially when she was only a couple of days old and she couldn’t defend herself!

As she grew up and become a young, beautiful woman, she found out that things weren’t always as they seemed with her family. Her parents had had been in on something that included her having no freedom to have a boyfriend. She knew that they were keeping a secret from her. From that day on she vowed to always find out what it was.

Who knew that that newly made vow would backfire on her? What had she gotten herself into? Why had she even bothered when something worse was waiting for her in the dark? What would she do when her enemy makes a dangerous promise?

What will happen when he threatens to make her his?

Will she succumb to his pressure or will she fight for the one that she loves?

Genres:

Writing, Comedy, Romance

Comments(28)

13177294_1353553781324682_854182293806806511_n

over 4 years ago Kennedy Olson said:

I really enjoyed this story. It could help to be much more descriptive in your story just to help it run more smoothly but I love it so far. Great job :)

Photo on 6-22-13 at 4.07 pm

over 4 years ago ~Mina~ said:

I like it a lot. I'm not sure what your old version was about but I liked this one fairly well. The only thing I have for you is when their talking about bread and breakfast I'm pretty sure it's bed and breakfast? Other than that super job and keep up the good work

704_1302845_610472

over 4 years ago Briana Colfer said:

I liked the story and the name daisy, but i would have liked to see more description inbewteen the dialogue. Good job.

018

over 4 years ago Evelyn Muse said:

I really liked the idea of this! :) Some parts did feel kind of choppy though, so I would recommend changing some of your adjective using a thesaurus. Otherwise, great job! :)

Reviews(5)

Books

about 3 years ago Pseudonym said:

Hey there!

I was hooked on the first page. Though I think the first (second?) sentence would have flowed better if you used "as she slammed the door behind her", that's not too important.

I love your descriptive words- I could picture the scenes exactly, could sense myself being there in the room with Daisy when she was talking to Eve. I have to say, she doesn't seem like she lives in an area where arranged marriages are to common, so I'm anxious to see how this story plays out!

I want to applaud you, amazing writing so far!! :)

-Pseudonum (I honestly can't spell my own username without Googling it)

1045158_646200575404507_1193218032_n

over 4 years ago Dreamless Nights said:

Dear Tehmeena Arshad,

I’m so sorry for my late review, but here it is anyway. I have to say I've honestly got nothing to criticize today. I honestly liked this version much better. It's well written, Daisy comes across as sensible and a bit of an optimist but that's great because she's her own character so is her sister. Her being made redundant is a brilliant, in this current economy lots of people are made redundant yearly. It sounded quite realistic. SO overall, I really liked. I'm usually not a big fan of arranged marriage stories, they're usually cliche but when you update, tell me on my wall. I'd love to read it.

So long for now D.N.